The adventures of the pugilistic leader

2008-08-22T16:18:00.001-07:00

Visit http://ks-in-baltimore.blogspot.com/ for the Adventures of KS in Baltimore!!!

Hello Hello!

2008-08-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

Long time no see!!

Starting to design the template of the Baltimore blog now. Haha think in the end I might be too lazy to come up with a fancy design though.. lol!

Just a few interesting snippets.. hahahaha

1) Went to get my meninggococcal jab before my trip at my first visit to a polyclinic!! Exciting stuff. Anyway, the senior staff nurse there was really nice but asked a hell of a lot of questions!! From my history of childhood fits to my drug allergy.. everything seemed to be able to act on a simple meninggococcal vaccine! But all of that is fine.

Until she told me, "This vaccine, after getting it, you cannot get pregnant for 3 months ok." And then she proceeded to stare at Weijie, who followed me into the consultation room. And then she turned back to me and waved her finger at the 2 of us, "Not married right?" I nodded.. a mistake.. for she went on to say, "Not married also must be careful!" And then she wagged her finger at us again. And that IDIOT Weijie embarassed me further by saying, "Don't worry, we will be careful. Practise safe sex, use protection right?" By then I was so horrified and shaking my head frantically and saying noo no noo!!!

But to my horror, the nurse nodded and said, "Yes yes! Its very true you know, no need to be embarassed!" and went on to give us a mini sex education class. OMG freaking embarassing!!! I chased Weijie out of the room after that.

Anyway, that was that. The embarassing incident.

The other thing I wanted to talk about was the amazing Beijing Olympics opening ceremony!!! It made me, a non-China Chinese so damn proud!!! Like, totally can't believe the creativity of this 1 man, Zhang Yimou. The effects and pyrotechnics were nothing short of spectacular. The talent of the people as well. And most importantly, it's also about warmth and love in this world, when the young Szechuan earthquake survivor and hero was led out with the China team and Yao Ming. My dad couldn't believe such a young boy managed to save the lives of 2 of his friends. Me? I'm just so touched.

Another noteworthy thing is how some countries politely held the China flag together with their own flags when they were walkign out. Totally says a lot about the graciousness of these countries. In contrast, like a disrespectful kid, Bush was leaning forward, peering thru his binoculous, hopping around like an excited groupie when the US team came in etc. All right after condemning the China human rights record after China graciously hosted him. Son of a bitch.

Another contrasting reality: The rich middle eastern country Saudi Arabia sent in only MALE athletes. In fact, it was the ONLY contigent of ONLY male athletes.. totally shows how sexist they are.. while the impoverished Afghanistan sent in just 1 female in their tiny contingent.. but they made the ONLY female the flag bearer! Shows how far this country has come since the days where females can only wear burqas. The flag bearer? She was so beautiful, glowing with the respect and dignity newly bestowed on her, it brought tears to my eyes. Shame on you Saudi Arabia. There's no real first world country status, no matter how rich you are, without gender equality.

Perspective

2008-07-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

Lately been really tired. Keep making the dumbest mistakes at work. Really disappointed with myself, cos its things that shouldn't be expected of a PhD student, or even a graduate. When you are a student, u got a lot of leeway to make mistakes cos you can always hide behind the cover of being a student. But then that changes once u become a staff or PhD student. Every single mistake can become the topic of malicious gossip by people who "wonder why who and who can actually do a PhD when she can make this kinda mistake".

Well its not that I really care about what others say but its the disappointment from within. How could I have been so careless? If the mistake had been more extreme it might have cost me a job. If I were a management level person who made a dumb mistake I would probably have been fired. In the working world, it is a cruel society that doesn't permit any carelessness or mistakes. When people are paying me to do work, I jolly well do a good job and make them feel I'm worth what they are paying me for and not otherwise. Seems like I'm a bit harsh on myself but lately the pressure is really getting to me.

Working 8.30 to 6 everyday, 2 days a week that extends to 8.30pm due to tuition. Worrying about work, worrying about my impending move, sleepless nights or restless sleep. Horrible nightmares about not having enough USD to use when I'm in Baltimore or not being prepared for my project presentations haunt me every night. When I'm home I watch tv cos I'm so tired I can't get off the bed and am unable to fall asleep.

And so I fretted. But then one day, as I was going for tuition, I walked past my former primary school. As I looked through the gates, I thought about how tiny it looked. The basketball court that had seemed neverending, the huge tables at the canteen, and the window high high up that we had to stand on tiptoes to peep into.. now they just look like a tiny little court that don't seem fit for basketball even, tiny tables and a low window in a tiny extension building in the school. Even the gates look smaller than I remembered.

Then I realized its just really perspective. How you look at things. From the eyes of a tiny little girl, the school had seemed huge. From the eyes of the girl grown up now, the school feels tiny. From a certain point of view, it feels like I have made a horrible mistake. From a different point of view, I can be happy that I've learned something and I will never ever make a mistake like that any more. Everything has a good and bad side to it. Its just which side you choose to look at it from. Being able to let go and look beyond tiny details is what makes u a greater person.

Anyway, a totally random thought that bloomed after meeting up with sec sch mates today. Everyone seems to have graduated and are working in their respective fields already. As we talked about classmates n other people we knew, it suddenly hit me how different my sec sch mates are from my jc mates. I guess its a maturity level/worldly wise thing. But somehow as we're talking today we realize there are so many of us who are married/having kids/engaged/already have kids etc. But for JC, the most I've heard of are people who are still trying to work out their relationship, breaking up, fooling around etc. Or STILL teasing each other about their bfs/gfs wah lau eh hahaha. Hm wonder if its a Chinese school English school thing? Or its some weird peer pressure thing that I must admit I still succumb to some though most people shouldn't even care about at my age any longer. Hahahaha

Okie enough of the random thoughts this weekend.. lemme see if I can dig up more photos and then I shall post them alright? Till then!

Macau trip day 3: Zhuhai!

2008-07-05T00:55:00.000-07:00

Uhh yes yes I know I have taken forever to upload this. And I still have the Hainan trip and lots of gathering pics to upload.. omg! Haha but I'm so busy busy busy everyday!!! I have work and then after that tuition some days, and my weekends are almost inevitably filled with activities, no time for updates at all! So ah... even if I'm free at home I'm too dead beat to do anything else.. I'm so tempted to juz switch the blog to a Baltimore blog template ahaha.

Anyway, without further ado, lets go to Macau trip day 3!

We decided to go to Zhuhai this day. This is the customs.

Not bad arh! Hehe..

Check out that scary crush of humans!!!!

First thing we saw at Zhuhai was this underground shopping mall which we basically stuck at almost the entire time we were in China... the human traffic was enough to stop a man in his tracks and tremble in fear.. ahaha i mean, seeing as we're not locals and all..

Ate our lunch there!
YUMMY NOODLES!!!!!!!
Green noodles!!!

Spicy kung pao chicken!!! YUMMY!

Mmmmm...

After that it was shopping and coffee...

A perfect cuppa... blue mountain~~

Ahhhhh....

Totally amazing!

Ventured out to the streets after shopping in the underground mall for about half a day... to check out some stuff above ground!

That's the Gongbei customs!

These are the malls and streets in China!
Some hotels...

More hotels...

Not long after, it was time for dinner!!! Went to this highly recommended place called Mayflower restaurant! They were famous for their seafood!

The very fresh and succulent salmon sashimi!

Yummy greens!
THIS TOFU WAS TOTALLY AMAZING!!!!! YUM!

Yummy prawns..

I don't like prawns cos I was too lazy to peel them.. lol

So Wj peeled everything for me!

Yummy fruits! All restaurants in China serve free fruit platters after a meal! NICE!

That's how they do it!

Then we went back to Macau and checked out MGM!!! The amazing casino/IR!
Inside MGM..
A rich kaleidoscope in the doorway!
Sculpture
Dancer
Outside the MGM..

Majestic lion!
MGM

Our catch for the day!

Macau trip day 2, Hong Kong!

2008-06-11T06:25:00.000-07:00

So I've disappeared from some time from the blog. Maybe cos I was too busy with other stuff... and went to China for 7 days... horrible tour by the way. Sigh. Haha anyway, I have started work at IMB so those in Biopolis, feel free to ask me out for lunch!

So enough of that crap. More pictures of the Macau trip! Long overdue I know.. lol!

2nd day of the trip, we decided to take the ferry to HK! Macau was a tad too boring.. just some casinos thats all.

Looking out from the ferry terminal..

we walked to the ferry..

And look inside the ferry! That's how it looks like!

Welcome to Hong Kong! Tsim Sha Tsui..

Took the MTR to Mongkok, in a bid to hunt down some real authentic Hongkong breakfast.... DIM SUM!

We walked till we were starving so badly we could see stars in our eyes.... asked around but no one could tell us.. any specific nice ones.. and pointed only at some broad directions.. we got so desperate we just went to any we could find... and the first and only one we saw happened to be this! Maybe cos they are all hidden away in buildings and you can't see the sign from outside the bulding that they have dimsum restaurants in the building.

And its all worth it man.... OMG... the dim sum was..... totally gastronomic yummilicious!!

wooooooooohhhhhhhhooaaaaaa!!!!!!!! It was all flavourful bursts of har kow and siew mai juices!!
YUM YUM!

After the SUMPTIOUS breakfast, wandered around a sleep HK as most shops are still closed. Decided to go to Delifrance to get a cup of coffee and chill a little while waiting for the shops at MONGKOK to open!

Recommendation by Chan... fantastic Mango desserts.. or so I heard. Too bad I don't eat mango. Wj had quite a nice one though.

His mango I-dunno-what dessert

Yummy tang yuan..

Carrot cake! HK-style! I love it!! First steamed then pan-fried!

Special-looking HK-chilli sauce..

After that was crazy shopping at Mongkok and Citygate outlets... but the latter was a tad too expensive for us so we didn't spend too much time there.

Had a nice cuppa...

And at the end of the day, as we were getting the tickets for the ferry back to Macau.. we realized.... OH SHIT no more money!!!!!!!

Sobsob... ended up buying some cup noodles for our dinner..

Ooh!!! Look at all the shuttle buses to and from the various hotels lined up along the ferry terminal gates waiting for people coming in from Hong Kong!

The shuttle to our hotel..

Look at what we bought between us... in 1 day in HK!!!

Stay tuned for... DAY 3!!!

Karma?

2008-05-29T03:01:00.000-07:00

Recently, Sharon Stone made a comment regarding the earthquake in China.

"I'm not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else," Stone said. "And then this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and then I thought, is that karma? When you're not nice that the bad things happen to you?"

During the brief interview, Stone also said she cried when she received a letter from the Tibetan Foundation asking her to help the quake victims.

"They wanted to go and be helpful, and that made me cry. It was a big lesson to me that sometimes you have to learn to put your head down and be of service even to people who aren't nice to you."

Then I wondered, does she know why the Tibetan Foundation asked her to help the quake victims? Does she know how many Tibetans reside in Sichuan, the province where the 7.8 magnitude quake struck? Does she know that in fact it is one of the places where lots of rioting and protests involving Tibetans occurred? Does she understand what she's saying? Yes it may be karma.. but definitely not karma on China.

Despite all that had occurred prior to the quake, the Chinese government had done so much to help the people, regardless of their ethnicity. Maybe the ignorant western media should start focusing on this and not anything else slanderous to the Chinese government.

Macau Day 1 Part 2

2008-05-27T05:45:00.000-07:00

The setting sun beckoned as we left the Venetian to embark on our evening adventures~

Macau is made up of 3 islands, just like Hong Kong. The 3 islands are called Taipa, Coloanne and Macau main island. Taipa and Coloanne are less busy and Macau island is where all the activities are. Big players like MGM and Sands are located mainly on this island. We crossed this bridge to get from Taipa to Macau island. Macau tower can be seen standing tall right beside the bridge.
Macau has a goddess of mercy statue guarding the waters around the island. The goddess is erected on a stone in the middle of the seas and is plated in gold, bathed in brilliant yellow light in the nights.

We dropped off at Sands Casino and proceeded to explore Macau island. Opposite Sands Babylon castle themed casino.

The casino was located in a place called Fisherman's Wharf.

There's a volcano in the themed casino that is supposed to erupt every half an hour, mimicking the one in Vegas. But it hasn't started functioning yet, so well, no lava explosions to light up the twilight!

After exploring for a bit, we landed at Fisherman's Wharf for dinner!

From Fisherman's Wharf, there was a great view of Sands, sister casino of Venetian.

And right inside Fisherman's Wharf, you see the hanging gardens of Babylon, one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world!

We entered the mystical world of Babylon..

Only to find a seaside land of fantasy!

There was a breathtaking view of the bridge connecting Taipa and Macau island from inside Fisherman's Wharf.

A breathtaking night view of Sands was also possible from where we stood.

Hidden somewhere in the mystical world of Babylon, a legendary Italian ride awaits.

But us? We managed to find a nice little cafe hidden away in this fantasy world, and got a ride of our own!

Miami Cafe in Babylon

A tad worn out our ride may seem, but it suited us just fine and comfy!

We could play and eat and do whatever we wanted, it was OUR space!

Portuguese food was served for the night... including potato skins, onion rings,

And a very yummy fish fillet baked with bell peppers, olives and tomatoes!

After a very sumptious dinner in the fantasy world, we returned to the Venetian. By night, the Venetian looks really impressive.
It was a lot grander than I last remembered

Opposite the Venetian, another IR lights up the night.
Back to our modest quarters.

Opposite our hotel, another one ignites the night sky with LCD displays.

Our hotel has just a display of some statues of Greek gods and goddesses.

Inside the hotel, in the lobby, it looks grander.

Zeus guards to gates, to the casino.

We take turns playing with a Greek fighter.

Our room number... to wj it has a special significance. Haha. Maybe the Chinese will know what it means.
Kayan asked, "So how if the room number is '444' or '888'?"

Lol I duno??

Keep your eyes peeled for DAY 2! The invincible 2 lands in Hong Kong!

Macau Day 1 Part 1!

2008-05-18T08:38:00.000-07:00

OK! So I've procrastinated long enough... here are the photos! Courtesy of Wj of cos (I'm too bloody lazy to bring a camera along lol)

Here's us on the plane to Macau!

Macau airport... its really rather rundown..
Customs clearing..

Our hotel! Its called some Greek mythology themed hotel and its supposed to be 5 star. Well, maybe fifty years ago it was 5 star. Now you can tell it used to be grand, but its no fight for new ones like MGM and Venetian.

Duno what Wj was snapping... probably a pic of the lift.. or maybe my head?

The lift.

After dumping our stuff in the room, we went exploring! Took a bus from our hotel to the Venetian! Yes this seemingly plain building IS the Venetian.

Us at the Venetian (can't really tell though..)
In front of the Venetian.
Being extra as usual.
Opposite the Venetian is this very ugly huge puddle of water/pond or whatever that has icky green things growing in it.

V for Venetian!
Some other Integrated resort being built opposite the Venetian.. the tiny island of Macau is about 90% taken up by IRs!!!! How can Singapore compete?!
Look at all the tour buses going into the Venetian..

Even the Starbucks in the Venetian looks different!

Fake skies..

The food court that has horribly expensive food...

The stalls selling exhorbitantly priced crap..

The Fatburger that is smaller than my hand and costs more than SGD10 bucks.

My measely bowl of ramen that is all crappy limp noodles with scarcely a hint of meat in the soup. And it costs abt SGD11.

Sigh.. that's the Venetian for ya... and I was expecting things to be cheaper to attract tourists to go there to gamble, which is their main source of revenue.

Well I guess they do need more money to pay performers like these...

A vid of the performance!

Ooohhhh ang mohs walk on stilts too?

Us in one of the squares there. In the Venetian.

There are these gondolas, with these sailors. But u gotta pay for a ride in this artificial lake or whatever they call it.. so well, doesn't make sense to me.

On the bridge across the river..

Walked past Giordano and they sold these really cute tshirts for the Olympics! So each sports has one design.. and Wj had been eyeing this one for the longest time.... we went too so many different Giordanos from Macau to HK just to find it but well, some times it all boils down to fate. LOL!
This one is pretty cute too.. but the one above is one of the few things someone claims he had ever truly sincerely 'desired' right from the bottom of his heart.
The olympics mascots.

What does this picture look like to you? A picture? A work of art?

All correct! Except its painted on the ceiling of the Venetian!

On the ceilings right above the gambling area!

A sneak peek at the casino game tables..

Went to chill at Starbucks for a while to think of where to go next and try to make sense of the map.
Now he's posing..

And yes I was posing too! Lol pretending to read a map!

Ok that's Day 1 Part 1 for ya... wait up for Day 1 part 2!

As for updates on my life, went on a really nice date with Wj yesterday! First we went to eat donuts, then went to get a nice book and drove up Mt Faber to read the book while waiting for the sun to set. Feels really relaxing and nice. Then we went to the Airport for dinner at Popeye's before concluding the day with a nice walk at Labrador Park! Haha I think that's the tai tai life for me!

And went to watch Shinigaminoseido with crazybatch today!!!!!!! JACINTH! Takeshi has a new film! Go google it! And try to find a way somehow to watch it!!!! COS ITS SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! Well, shall leave it at that for now... hee the rest r stories for another day!!! Yawn.. time for bed! Nite!

poster day and more!

2008-05-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, Happy Mothers' Day!!! Hehe... and now for the rest.

Finally, I can be considered a graduate... or semi? Haha poster day is officially over! So, sorry for the long lack of updates, but I seriously just got too damn lazy. I mean, there's so much better things like, playing online games? And surfing the net for interesting reads? And TV?! Endless dramas on SCV!!! Hehe..

So anyway, finished FYP, printed poster, went for a few seminars, did poster presentation, got screwed by a horrible examiner, hopefully the other examiner gives me higher grades, etc etc. ANYWAYS! Haha like what my mentor said, why do u have to worry?! U already got ur future settled?! Lol I wish man... something totally random though.. the other day when I went back to NTU to settle some admin stuff, suddenly someone called me on my phone and told me I'd been offered a job interview at some investment thing. When I asked how they knew I was looking for a job they said they have sources telling them who are graduating. Lol. Sounds totally dodgy man! Anw told them I wasn't interested and rejected them.

Talking about phone calls...

This is totally freaky but one day I received this totally random sms from someone I don't know, but the contents sound totally weird and scary. And the person signed off as "your soul mate". Then the next morning, the house phone rang at 10+am.. and when I picked up the phone n said "Hello" the person hung up immediately. The phone number was given as "private". This happened every morning the next few mornings (all weekdays) at the same time! Then on Friday, my mum was home early cos she was on sick leave. I told her about the call, and when the person called again, this time my mum picked up and kept quiet for a vvvv long time.. then the person got scared and said, "Hello?" and after a while hung up. Its a female! And sounded like she's from China! My mum called Singtel to ask how to trace the number, but anyway she stopped calling the days after already.

Next update: tuition! So one day I was leaving the house of my tuition kid n reminding him to do his work etc, then after he closed the door, the neighbour opened the door and asked if I was a tutor! She wanted to look for a tutor for her Pri2 kid and don't mind paying the same rates as the sec1 kid. And she wants me to go EVERYDAY before the exam, and even holidays she wants me to go like every alternate day?! Just to surf the net and read story books with her kid! Wah... easy money man.. feel v wicked.. haha. Feels more like a nanny than tutor. But anw now holidays, the sec1 kid has no tuition so this is good income supplement! After buying the ticket to Baltimore, I'm pretty much broke so this new job is very welcome.

Haha so these r the random updates about my life!

Next up, Macau!!!!! Yea! Leaving on Tuesday, reaching Singapore on Friday!!! So excited!!! HK and Zhuhai shopping too! Macau Venetian! Will update more when I'm back!!!

If I have seen farther it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants

2008-05-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

This is dedicated to my mentors and all those who had helped me in my career one way or another.

All my primary to secondary life, I had been blessed with strict parents who took good care of me and made sure I worked hard and got passable results. By JC I was fully independent and self-disciplined enough to work hard without their constant nagging.

To be frank, I was never a top student, all the way till university. Not before, not now. But all the while I had been blessed with wonderful mentors who guided my patiently throughout my projects and gave me good recommendation letters that helped greatly in my career advancement.

In Vancouver, my mentor would sit me down and go through all the background about the specimen we were working with. Whenever I had any questions, he would patiently answer me and gave me loads of praises for everything I knew about. And of course, there was the passion. Boy, was he passionate about his work! It really inspired me to work harder, when working beside these people who make you feel totally excited about what you are doing and are generous with their compliments and encouragements. It gave me a strong sense of self-worth.

In Singapore, I have a wonderful mentor too. A fantastic person who made sure everything worked before handing the project over to me, who guided me through all the troubleshooting processes, who optimized everything for me, who spent hours and hours looking through my thesis patiently reading each and every word and correcting it. He would look through journals after journals and whenever something interesting pops up he would forward it to me. He would make me feel important and make my project look significant. He never once belittled me because I was a student and greatly encouraged my every contribution during lab meetings. For my presentations and interviews, he would give me loads of tips and hints about how to handle the situation. All these, not part of his job scope, yet he tirelessly did for me.

But these were just secondary. Most importantly, he made me feel passionate about my work. Because he made me feel I was making a difference. Whenever I made a mistake he would tell me its alright and to just do it again. Whenever I achieve something, no matter how slight, he would amplify my achievements and he was never stingy with his compliments. This gave me the motivation and confidence to move forward more, think more, give more suggestions and achieve more. Not just in my project, but also, for my future. I will never forget, and I am eternally grateful.

I was never a person generous with compliments. Yet, I have flourished under the gentle doses of praises given. I had seen for myself the power of compliment. Maybe one day, I will learn the art of doing the same for others. Some day soon I hope.

I was never a visionary. I might even be regarded as a dwarf. But I was able to see farther, explore more, because I had been blessed, with many giants in my life. Maybe one day, I can develop sturdy shoulders. Maybe one day, I can be someone's giant too.

House shopping and others

2008-04-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

In view of my impending move to JHU, I had been furiously online-house-shopping. It is really a rather exciting experience.. looking through house after house, apartment after apartment, studio after studio, to decide the one best for you, and your budget of course. And there's the furniture shopping part too. Of cos I'm just window-online-shopping obviously, as I can't possibly get any furniture till I get there. But nonetheless, its really an exciting feeling to be earning your own money and using your own money to buy your own furniture and your own house!

So yup. I've looked at the studios in so many private apartments. Studios are like one room flats, where the bedroom and living room and dining room are all just one big room. There's a small kitchenette and a toilet and bathroom and a closet sometimes (depending on how much you're paying), and it comes with utilities like gas and water paid. In the same apartments, there are also one bedrooms, meaning there's a bedroom separate from the living and dining room. One bedroom is of cos more expensive. With my personal ability, I guess I can only afford a studio sobsob.

But then the fun part comes in when Wj comes over! And yes that's the plan. So pooling our resources, we can get a nice lil 1 bedroom apt, some nice furniture, and a car maybe! Whee! So exciting! Of cos we not sleeping together u dirty fellas. Get a small bed in the bedroom for me, then a sofa-bed in the living room for him! I thought this was the best arrangement till my mum scolded me for being so evil to him.. haiya now gotta alternate lo.. one day me outside one day him outside lor. Then get a nice lil coffee machine, maybe some plants, wah! Just the thought is making my spine tingle in excitement. Of cos pooling the resources of 2 pple, you can get so much more!

So yup! House-shopping is indeed a very exciting experience! But then, reality steps in. In the first year without him, my personal income is only enough to secure me a place in a school dorm. Small, but with all utilities included in the rent. Cheap, with furnishings included, utilities included, tv, toilet, kitchen everything in an apartment I share with 3 others. Room is mine and mine only! Wahaha! So exciting! Okie la.. actually its a pretty old dorm right beside JHU hospital and there's apparently nothing to do there on weekends and I can't venture out cos its too bloody dangerous.. sobsob...

Yup yup enough of my rants. I've booked a flight on United 19th Aug early in the morning abt 6+am at T3 so I guess u guys prob can't come send me off lo. But then its at T3 leh! So exciting (for me)! I've never ever seen the inside of T3 before! Hehe.. so yup! Something else to look forward to.

Have some stuff about lab to tell u guys too, but let that wait till next entry k! Something about my mentor being super damn nice to me (just to remind myself what I wanted to say). K super tired now.. gonna go sleep! Nite!

Bosses

2008-04-24T09:10:00.001-07:00

So the boss of my institute decides to have this fortnightly intra-institute seminar, to promote scientific sharing blah blah. And first 2 presenters happen to include Mrs Lab Safety from my lab. So everyone from the lab had to go. Not that I really minded, since there was a free lunch after.

So anyway, seminar started at 12. Ended ard 1pm. By the time it ended, stomachs were rumbling left right front back. As expected, there was a horribly long line leading to the buffet table. I waited for about 10 minutes before I finally reached the table, and that was considered short. But never mind. Just as I was about to take a plate n plastic cutlery to begin filling my plate with food, suddenly right in front of me, the BOSS cut in with this friend of hers, mumbled a vague "Sorry" something, and took a plate and started filling it.

I recall being shell-shocked. I was staring at her, mouth wide open. I mean, I admit being slightly racist in this sense cos if it were to be someone of another nationality like for example maybe China (sorry a little bit politically incorrect) or Singapore, I would probably be less shocked and more annoyed. But this lady don't juz happen to be an ang moh (of cos all Singaporeans worship ang mohs right! Our govt taught us wan mah) but she's also the leader of this institute attending this event hosted by this institute and she exhibits such ungracious behaviour?!

So anyway lady in question turned and saw me staring at her, eyes and mouth both wide open. She gave a sheepish smile and laugh (I admit I must look kinda rude) and then continued filling her plate. Well, then I thought she must be really in a hurry, cos she's a boss mah.. bosses are always rushing off somewhere to get something done. But then 10 minutes passed, 20 minutes passed, 30 minutes passed.... I finished my food, all my colleagues, even those who got their food long after me, had finished their food. And this lady boss was still happily chitchatting with her friends beside the buffet line!

And I am really irked. Mostly because I used to think this lady boss is a rather nice boss. Well, to her credit, this is the only negative incident I've ever encountered with her. But its enough to irritate me so much that I sms-ed this relative who happens to also be a boss about this incident, "XX just cut my queue in the buffet line after I spent 10 min queueing. Good to be boss."

After 5 min, relative replied,

"Being a BOSS has its privileges. You must always respect the bosses!"

THE END!

2008-04-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

YUP! Submitted the thesis on Friday, so now all that's left is the presentation!!!!!

But cos I don't think I wanna waste a minute of my freedom blogging, I will juz leave you guys this small lil entry till I have time to upload the photos!!!!

So this entry I got from Nature online this week, about NIH funding and how funding is decreasing. This person wrote in to the editor and offered great insight and a painful and sad truth.

NIH: researchers lose out to war, not to each other

Sten H. Vermund¹

Institute for Global Health, Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, 319 Light Hall, 2215 Garland Avenue, Nashville, Tennessee 37323-0242, USA

Sir

In your News story '222 NIH grants: 22 researchers' (Nature 452, 258–259; 2008), you contrast the concerns of junior investigators in the face of the flat budget of the US National Institutes of Health (NIH) with the comparative prosperity of a handful of their senior colleagues. Against this, I would argue that your review of grant numbers is flawed. It is absurd to consider supplements to parent grants, such as centre-support grants or training add-ons, as separate grants. Training grants should not be seen as counter to the self-interest of junior investigators. Also, you should have explained that junior investigators are supported by large centres or networks (in which hundreds of junior investigators may be engaged), although the NIH demands a single administrative leader — therefore a large grant is attributed to one person, often with many centres or supplements.

The end of the rise in funding for the NIH corresponded to the start of the war in Iraq, with its no-bid multibillion-dollar contracts and support of 150,000 Americans overseas. Half-a-trillion dollars (a very conservative estimate) has been spent there during the past five years, nearly four times the annual NIH budget in each of those years. The costs show no signs of abating — and all this in the context of tax cuts and economic recession.

So Nature should keep asking the tough questions about NIH funding decisions and effort-reporting policies. But please consider alternatives to your simplistic thesis.

This brings to mind this statistic Wj told me about.. The amount of money the US spends on war in just a day is enough to let the UN feed all the hungry people in the world for a year. Really puts things into perspective doesn't it? Shame on you America.

Decided!

2008-04-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

Ok so I've decided to throw away all that indecisive girly feeling eew so not me! And I've decided! Well, actually forced into deciding. As some might know, the deadline for all US grad schools is 15th April. So the lady at JHU sorta pressured me into making a decision. But well, I guess, its all for the best.

And the best part is, I rejected UCC (the Irish uni) before I even accepted JHU, and the reason I gave them was that I was gonna go JHU. So well, maybe subconsciously I'd already made up my mind. Talking to my mentor helped too, altho even before talking to him I KNEW he would definitely be biased cos he cant stand the company giving scholarship I was applying for (AHAHA can't type out the name here cos I don't wanna get any one into trouble) and he LOVES the US culture I believe. The research culture I mean. Which I can totally understand, with just 1 semester in a US lab in UBC. And yes of cos Huijun gave me a lot of insight too, although seriously by then I was pretty much decided, though I didn't know it myself.

So YUP! Its all decided! I'd be bidding my dearest friends and family farewell in mid Aug and flying to Baltimore! Its kinda sad mostly, but I'm trying to translate all that negative feeling into positive anticipation, wish me good luck! WHEE! I mean, going to live in a new place all by urself, though a tad scary, must have a tinge of excitement in it no? Plus, in a year, Wj would be joining me! WOOH! So sweet! We're having a semi-honeymoon there already! Okay that was a bit far-fetched but anyways.

So now, I'm trying to get in touch with Singaporeans staying there. I happen to know 1 undergrad, but now trying to get to know the grad students better. Emily would go over to look for me when I get there too, so thats something to look forward to. Huijun would be in Harvard, not very close, but I guess its considered a short distance as compared to Singapore. WOW! Friends are all around me! Not so intimidating now.

Gonna get a nice lil apartment or house to stay, so quaint n nice. Nothing u can get in Singapore! More excitement! Maybe with a lil fireplace, tho Baltimore ain't that cold, just abt 0 degrees celsius in Winter. There's no Asian food, but I get to cook! Improve my cooking skills! Dangerous, but I get to drive! Improve my driving skills! No family there, but I get to learn to be independent! Be a brave girl!

Stay positive girl! You can do it! Hee... getting rather exciting. Every yr I get abt 2 wks break, so if I time it during CNY I'm not gonna miss anything! GREAT!

So many of the friends I know who're in the US have promised to drop by and say hi when I move there, its really touching actually. To know that 在家靠父母，出外靠朋友 and I actually have these friends I know I can fully rely on. The undergrad friend I know even offered to go to the airport to pick me up though I'd say I haven't been exactly very nice to him previously. I know I'd sorely miss everything in Singapore, the friends, the family, but then I know its a great new world out there. For me to explore.

Well, the US ain't all that bad really, I get to experience Christmas like the locals do, and there's Cheesecake Factory and Factory Outlet (COACH!), and NYC is just a 2 hr drive away! Washington ain't all that far either! Whee! So exciting.

Okie! Great! Mind made up, so not gonna think about the 'what ifs' any more!

BTW, mentor told me the paper had been rejected, so now he'd probably use my FYP data to add weight to the paper and submit it to a higher impact jrnl. Hopefully, my authorship gets bumped up too! And then he'd also give me a small side project to work on, and maybe publish as a brief communication! So happy for all the wonderful people in my life. Wonder what I did to deserve them!

Hehe getting a bit delirious. Waiting for my bro hence the long post (cos I have nothing better else to do than blog). Anw, FINALLY got the pics in my phone transfered to Wj's com and then to my laptop! YAY! Will post the pics soon! For the first time, I realize my phone cam resolution is so damn good! Hee!

Nothing

2008-04-06T08:32:00.000-07:00

Nothing to talk about recently, except that I'm so so so so troubled by the JHU acceptance. Got accepted by a randomly sent email to this University College Cork too, but that university is lousier than NTU or NUS so, don't think I'll accept that for sure. And its in Ireland too. So now its either JHU or NUS or KI.

JHU is too freaking long. I know my grandma can't bear to let me go for so long. Me neither. But the opportunity there is just so immense, I can't face myself if I just let it slip away like that.

ARGHHH SO FRUSTRATING!!!

Anw some updates fr my FYP and the projects in the lab, but that will come only when I'm in the mood. Now, I'm really too troubled for anything else. Sigh.. have a good day mates!

Biobiz 08

2008-03-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

Went for Biobiz 2008 today. I've gotta say it was an eye-opener in more ways than one.

Eye-opener 1: Our dear friends Lao Guan and Tan Jian Liang actually were part of the ORGANIZING COMMITTEE?! Tjl was even the CHAIR of Logistic!!! My god!! These slackers of yesteryears are actually now so onz about stuff like that? I can hardly believe my eyes when I saw their names! Later, Lao Guan revealed to me the reason behind them taking this up but I shall keep that a secret and give them the due credit they deserve hahaha

Eye-opener 2: 'Researchers' dancing some crazy dance on stage, totally irrelevant. Wonder why they included this dumb segment

Eye-opener 3: Cameraman from CNA filmed us! I mean, this is not the first time I happen to be seated at the seats directly in front of the cameraman at some major conference/event but I duno why its happening so frequently these days wahaha

Eye-opener 4: Some weird photographer kept taking weird photographs of people at the fair. He attempted to take a closeup direct shot of me when I was drinking coffee!!! I mean, if you wanna take a photo of me when I'm paying attention during the panel speech, then that's fine, by all means. Why the hell when I'm drinking coffee!!!!!

I'll update more when I can think of more eye openers.

The whole thing is indeed a huge eye opener.. though the whole thing seems dominated by small players who want research manpower and big players who want manufacturing manpower. So sad. I think I might just stick to the public sector after all.

So I haven't updated in ages cos I'm so damn bloody busy! My mentor wants me to finish my first draft by this month and I'm still left with discussion, conclusion, abstract, acknowledgement, content page! So dead, me. Sigh.

And JHU just sent their acceptance. However, its really such a dilemma man... the research there is so so so so attractive. Yet the place is so so so boring and I know I'm a person who cannot be bored. I'll just die. And I'll so so so so miss my family. My dad, my mum, my bro, my dearest grandma who's 74 this year. How much will they age in 5-6 years? My parents' hair would have turned white. More wrinkles on their faces. Somehow, they just look more fragile and it seems like they need me more than I need them now. Can I bear to leave them for 5 years? Yet, if I'm unable to sacrifice this for this amazing research opportunity, what great things will I be able to accomplish?

Such a dilemma.

If I get AGS, I will go overseas for just 2 years. Enough to give me a global perspective, yet not too long. The minus point would be the bond. And the pay. But then again, not many research facilities in Singapore other than Astar anyway. So I might end up working in Astar after I graduate anyway. If I don't take this up now and if I end up working in Astar in future, its such a waste in terms of opportunities cos I will go slower in my career without AGS.

NUS? Should I just go NUS? Pay is better. But research wise, should it be ok? I'm not sure. No overseas experience at all. Sigh sigh sigh

Shall think about this later.

Back to discussion!

Korean food

2008-03-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

Went out for Korean food with the crazysister gang today.

Just a sidenote.... As I was on the way there, I walked past this apartment some distance from my place.. and a whiff of something familiar twitched my nostrils... OMG!!!!!! Weed?! In Singapore?! Please note that the only reason why I recognize that smell is cos my ex-roommate in Vancouver was a dealer.. I don't smoke weed. Wow... must be some ang moh who's either unaware of the laws in Singapore/juz plain daredevil. Haha.

But anyway, I digress. Back to Korean food!

So the reason for all the fanfare today was to celebrated TF's and Huimin's bday today with the gang! We went to this Korean place at Amara Hotel. TF and I were not fans of Korean food to be frank.. but well, the Korean food there was really rather not bad. I mean, I'm still not a fan, if u let me choose I'd pick Chinese or Western or Jap over Korean any day but if I HAVE to take Korean I'd go there.

So they had a lot of main courses that ranged from $15-60+ (BBQ and hotpot were the higher end ones), and it looked rather pricey at first glance. But then later, we found that they gave shitloads of freebies.. in the form of the many many side dishes consisting kimchi kimchi and more kimchi! And the best thing is, refills for these kimchi are free!!!

Red kimchi (it tastes rather sour.. like pickled food.. ok it IS pickled food).

Different types of Kimchi. The dish furthest away is rather nice. Its actually shredded potato but none of us could tell. (Jac's photog skills are rather good I've gotta admit though I really don't like her wahaha)

That's all the side dishes u see there! Amazing spread no?! The anchovies were fantastic too!

This cold soup was on the house too. It was sour-ish though.. no idea what it was... cold pickled cucumber chilli soup?

Beef BBQ!! I actually don't really like Asian style beef (I only eat hamburgers and steaks.. no other types of beef) so I gave this a miss.
Jac with her Korean Zha Jiang Mian. Taste rather different from Chinese though. Gotta mix it quite a bit.. and it has chunky stuff inside, not minced stuff. The sauce tastes diff too.
Kimchi tofu soup! TF and I were contemplating this, but in the end got put off cos it looked reddish and we were worried its gonna be super spicy but it turned out to be very mild.
Jac mixing Zha Jiang Mian.
Blurry pic of me sticking out my tongue (Yes I cut my hair! Hahahaha)

WeiKiong's (Huimin's bf) beef soup. I tasted it cos they said it has no beef taste in it. Indeed.. tastes juz like Dan Hua Tang (omelette soup).
TF and I ordered kimchi fried rice and ginseng chicken soup, both of which turned out to be damn good! Though the fried rice was a tad too oily and pricey ($15!).
Close up of ginseng chicken.
TF the birthday girl and her happy smile. Hehe
Weikiong and I! No I wasn't trying to steal Huimin's bf for a picture.. this happens to be a picture of convenience cos he was sitting right next to me.

Huimin and her Bibimbap, which is hot stone bowl stirred rice.
Jackie has a green tongue.
Seafood pancake.. rather yummy. But not with the sauce. The sauce tastes juz plain weird man.. the pancake tastes good by itself.
Look at the spread.. and the aftermath of our ravenous eating.. which left us full to the brim after. Bursting at the seams literally.
Birthday girls Huimin and TF.
Us!
The free ginger tea served after.. its cold and very gingery. The rest insists its super nice but I really cannot take ginger tea, or anything gingery for that matter, and thus gave mine to Jac.
Group shot.
Free desserts.
There was also a free cake and free birthday song (by the waitresses) and free 20% off on public holiday thanks to this voucher Joanne got.. so we ended up paying just 20 bucks each for THIS much food! YAY!

Waiting for Jackie to send me the photos. Meanwhile bear with these low quality ones!

And yes, the reason why I'm posting so few photos these days is cos this lappie doesn't have a port for uploading photos.. even the bluetooth thing I got for the laptop only worked with my previous cellphone. Doesn't work with this new nokia one. Dont ask me why. So I only get to post photos when others take the photos and post them online or send them to me. Hehe.. or when I remember to upload the photos to the com in Wj's home when I go visit him.. IF I remember. HAHA

Okie tts all for today folks! TATA!!!

有眼不识泰山

2008-03-20T02:39:00.000-07:00

I never truly understood the meaning of that phrase above, I realize, until today. I am the walking example of that phrase.

And so the story goes. Recently, I've been seeing this old ah pek around Immunos. Friends I always have lunch with might vaguely remember hearing me comment about this ah pek. He's rather old. His hair had all gone white. He walks very slowly. And he always carries this shopping bag that looks like those bags scientific product sales reps carry around to put their products in. He always wears elastic banded pants, pulled all the way up to his chest. Very much like a grandfather wearing very comfortable home clothes, bringing his grandchildren to the playground. I used to think whichever company it is that hired such an old sales rep to run around Biopolis is really 缺德. (With the bag he's carrying, its really reasonable to assume that he's a sales rep!)

Until today, my mum was flipping thru the newspapers and I happened to walk past her when she flipped to that particular page... "EH! THAT AH PEK!" My mum was almost deafened by my amazed shriek.

MY GOD!!!!! This seemingly extremely grandfatherly ah pek is actually a world famous stem cell scientist who just moved to IMB this year to head a new lab!!!!! He and his wife actually discovered some very important stem cell marker and he used to work in Max Planck in Germany and Wistar at Philadelphia! WAH!!!!! I almost fell off the chair as I read on...

He and his wife jointly discovered some very important protein, and won hell of a lot of awards for that. Then I couldn't take the curiosity and went to google his name... OMG! He's an expert in the stem cell field and even Nature approached him to write a commentary/review article about some new stem cell discovery in 2007!

Haiz haiz haiz... Lim Kah Suan arh Lim Kah Suan... what have you learned today?! NEVER EVER judge a book by its cover k?? OK? *slaps myself for being so damn ignorant*

Tibet

2008-03-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

I never really liked America. Not the country, more like the government. The hypocrisy, the meddlesome 'big brother' attitude, the arrogance.

But now they've really made me mad about how they approached the Tibet issue with China.

I have a few points to raise now.

1. Dalai Lama DO NOT deserve the Nobel Peace Prize BECAUSE he was politically motivated. He wanted Tibet independence NOT for the sake of the people but for his own political ambitions. Nobel peace prize? Mother Theresa yes. Aung San Suu Kyi yes. But no NOT Dalai Lama.

2. This is an issue concerning a country's sovereignty. It is obvious separatists are using the international attention on the Olympics to embarass China with this rioting. This is an issue NOT concerning sports, and hence the Olympics should not be brought into the picture. Neither should other countries meddle with the internal affairs of China BECAUSE they have no idea what Tibet means to China, throughout the history of China.

3. The US is worried about China's progress. Its like how jealous kids try to sabotage a better student's work to hinder his progress. That is why they said China has 'suspicious ambitions' and tried to stir trouble during the Olympics. Oh COME ON! What has Sudan's internal problem gotta do with China?! Why attempt to politicise the Olympics? Its just dumb. And of cos, now they are backing the Dalai Lama. Anything to bring China down.

4. Think about the invasion of Iraq by the US. Just because they think Saddam is 'evil'. Where are the WMDs?? Tibet cannot be compared to what they've done to Iraq.

5. China has brought progress to Tibet. Without the help of powerful China, would Tibet, which is so small and inland be able to achieve much? China constructed the best and most advanced railway system in the country from Qingdao to Tibet to benefit the people there. Its not like Myanmar, where the people are protesting because the government was corrupt while the people were living in poverty. Its not like Tibetans are ill-treated under Chinese rule. The small bunch of separatists are just a bunch of ingrates.

Its sad to see how misinformed the citizens of the Western powers are about Tibet. How easily influenced by the mass media, which was obviously very biased against China (wonder how no one ever raised this issue about BBC and even CNN, in a country that is the most pro-democracy and objective press reporting in the world).

They think they see a bunch of poor Tibetans being bullied by China. Their 'big brother' attitude jumps in. They like to think their government is helping a group of poor miserable people fight for what they deserve, fight for freedom. Think about it. Tibet had been a part of China since centuries ago. If the fact that they are of a different ethnicity means they should be allow to separate from China, should the US allow a state to separate from the whole country just because the majority is made up of a single ethnicity (probably non-white, maybe Hispanic or blacks) who prefer to separate? It would be crazy no?

If China allows Tibet to separate, what would happen to other pro-separatist factions of the country? It would be like a chain reaction. It would compromise the stability that progress had brought to the country. What about Taiwan? What about HK and Macau? Would they still want to be under the control of China? The repercussions would be unthinkable.

So, to all the gullible people in the West, please open your eyes, learn more about Chinese history before jumping onto the bandwagon and wagging your ugly finger at China. Call it a sense of ethnic pride, but let me say this: we Chinese are not a people to be trifled with.

This video summarizes everything I feel about the issue.

Lab politics

2008-03-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

I came back to this lab for my final year project after an internship there when I was in my 2nd year, because of the wonderful mentor I had and the fantastic people in the lab.

But this time round, when I went back to the lab, I found that there are some new people in the lab. Some new post docs and a few of the people I was familiar with and I enjoyed myself with had left. It is sad indeed. But I went with an open mind and decided to get to know the new people better.

Most of the new lab people are nice, but there's this post doc who gave me the impression that she's exceptionally fierce and impatient towards students. Like she thinks students are a waste of her time and she does not want to waste her efforts teaching them.

But she's not my mentor so I generally try to avoid her whenever I can.

Then one day, the lab decided to take in an astar scholar, waiting to go to Cambridge for his university studies. There are 3 post docs in the lab, and one of them is new, the other one is my mentor, so there's just her left. She had to take on this student. She said its ok. He can help her cast her gels and do all the sai kungs. Not very nice... but what can others do? She's one of the higher ranking ones in the lab.

So one day the student finally came. She went around introducing him to everyone in the lab. I was weighing some chemical at the electronic balance then. She rarely spoke to me before that, mostly also because I was avoiding contact with her cos she was rather fierce. When she saw me, she introduced me to her new student. Then immediately after, in front of him, she told me off for using a beaker to weigh the chemical cos the beaker is 'too heavy' for the balance and is going to spoil it.

But it was my mentor who taught me to use the beaker to weigh it! But mentor wasn't there.. no point explaining to her. The reason why I wasn't happy is because she NEVER cares about me. But now when she's introducing her student she had to put me down in front of her student. Its like, to assert her authority.

Then there were a few times I had to ask for her help to do some real time PCR and western blot. She was rather helpful when my mentor wasn't around. And I was really grateful.

But then other times it was just so different. Like when the PCR master mix ran out, I told her about it. And she told me the company it was from and asked me to go call the person who was from the company and buy it. Its not that I'm reluctant to do it. Its just that, firstly, I have no idea who the person was, secondly, I wasn't a staff.. how can I just go order the product from the person?! Who is going to authorize it? I'm just a student. How am I to know how to get such things done?

Thanks to the help of other colleagues, I finally got it done.

Then came another time, I was doing the blocking for my Western blot. I weighed milk powder using the balance and then turned to dissolve the powder into milk. She saw me using the balance. And she used it after me. Immediately after seeing the balance, she shouted, "Who spilt BSA all over the balance and didn't clear it up?" I ignored her but she kept shouting and shouting. On hindsight, somehow it seemed to be directed at me. She probably thought it was me cos I was the one using it before her. But at that time I was too busy making the milk and doing the western blot to care much about her. I didn't spill BSA for sure cos I didn't use it to block my membranes. I only use milk. So finally, after realizing no one was replying her (probably all too busy), she took the brush and brushed the BSA off the balance and proceeded to do her work.

The last straw came on Monday. So this lady post doc, she came up with this rule about responsible lab behaviour. So if you see that the biohazard bins are full and you do not clear them, or if u see that the cell culture waste bottle was full and you do not clear it, or if some chemical was finished and you didn't report it, you will be fined $5. Knowing what a horrible bitch she was (really, by now that's the only word I can use to describe her), I made very sure I cleared the biohazard bins and stuff whenever they were full etc.

I clearly remember this once, I even asked her if I should clear the biohazard bag cos although the bin was full, the bag was much bigger than the bin so in fact, the bag was actually less than half full. She came up with this reasoning... that the autoclave machine probably couldn't fit in the biohazard bag when it's full so I couldn't leave it till it's full before clearing it. So I HAD to clear the bag even when they were half full. Its seriously, on hindsight, just to make life difficult for me. There's no such thing as autoclave machine not fitting in the biohazard bag cos the machine was HUGE. Another time when I asked another colleague if I should clear the bag when its just half full, she asked me not to cos its really wasteful. So there. U get the idea.

Then on Monday, I was rushing through my experiment, and I threw this 10ml small little bottle into the huge biohazard bag. Then I rushed out of the cell culture room to do my experiments. After everything was done, I went back into the office. I remember vaguely hearing her talking loudly about some bottle thing etc but I did not pay much heed cos I was rushing out some results for my mentor. She talks rather loudly all the time anyway. Something like, "So, no one wants to own up arh?" Then after a long long time, I finally checked my official email. And got a shock.

This BITCH sent an email to everyone in the lab. Something along the line of, "We have our first $5 contributor. Someone threw a glass bottle into the biohazard bin. Glass bottles should be thrown into the sharps bin and not biohazard bin. Please come and collect the bottle from my bench."

You know the worse thing? She KNOWS it was me! She SAW me using the hood! Ok of cos she can deny it all and say she forgot. But surely, if you wanna use a hood and u saw someone using it before u, chances are u would remember who the person was? Plus I was almost the exclusive user of that kinda assay bottle in the whole lab. I mean, think of it. If it were any one else in the lab and not me, a student, would she have sent an email like that to everybody? She wants to FORCE me to own up and admit my mistake in front of the whole lab.

I had no choice but to go up to her and told her it was me. But it was really an honest mistake. I mean, it might sound stupid, but I really did not know that the bottle was glass. I mean, if serological pipettes could be thrown into biohazard bins, those look pretty much like glass as well. But they are not. Right?! Plus this was a really tiny bottle in a really HUGE bag. Like, ratio of 1:10,000. And I really did not know where the sharps bin was (except for the ones in the cell culture room, which she said I was not supposed to use).

But of cos, I would be silly if I thought that she might even care. That it was an honest mistake. And of cos. She sets the rules. Doesn't matter that this wasn't mentioned before as part of the $5 fine offences. She decides that its part of the rules now. It juz seems like she was out to catch each small mistake I make to embarass me.

Then of cos, I did not have time to really care about her and the dumb fine cos on Tuesday I was busy the whole day and had to meet an NUS prof later in the day, and Wednesday I had to go back to school. She probably mistook it as me avoiding her. So on Thursday, there was this lab meeting. Throughout the entire lab meeting, she did not say anything about it. She chose the time when my mentor had to go out to collect a delivery to say this, "When I impose the fine, I do not mean to offend anyone. I just want to ensure safe lab practice is followed in the lab." Ok. Got it.

Went up to her after the meeting to ask her if she wanted the $5. She said, "YES PLEASE." In her usual loud voice. Then she went on to say, "By the way, I don't mean to remind you about the fine just now arh." And smiled. And went on to ask me why I was dressed so nicely and commented tt I probably had no appetite for lunch when she found out I had an interview to go for after lunch. (I seriously duno whether she's friend or foe now.. especially when she smiles!) I did not have change at that time, neither did she, so she said its ok, give her after lunch.

After lunch I went for the AGS interview, and due to preparation, had no time to care much about her. After the interview, I went to her to give her the $5. She smiled and created the folder "Fines" in the common lab drive to record the money down. Then she went on to say, in a suspiciously sarcastic tone, "Thank you." I replied, rather loudly (cos obviously I wasn't happy), "Its for the lab." She said, even louder, "YES!" Well, when I said "Its for the lab." I actually meant she didn't have to thank me cos the money wasn't for her. But she probably mistook it.

Anyways, kudos to whoever have to patience to read for so long.

So the story continues.

On Friday, she had something to ask me. I was behind the divider, so she had to shout to get my attention. It was not the shout, but rather the way she did it when she had something to ask of me. She just shouted, "KAH SUAN." And I had to go over to ask her what she needed. HEY! I'm not even her student! Much less her maid! But did not want to confront her. She's the post doc wat. Then when I was in the cell culture room, my mentor came in to talk to me about something. Before he left, he glanced at the hood and told me, "Better clear the cell culture waste. Or else later XX will fine you $5." Then he smiled and left. And yes XX was in the room. Haha. It was rather funny.. looked just like how it was.. a post doc bullying a poor student.

The most ridiculous thing was how biased she was. She had her own student too remember? That student screwed up worse than me and she closed one eye (the thoughtless TCHS student). Like how he spilt my assay plate and wasted ONE WHOLE WEEK of my hard work. Like how he thoughtlessly contaminated the entire lab bench with EtBr. And worse, on Friday, after she fined me, something happened to make my blood boil. Right in front of me, she told her student, "Hey you used my lab bench just now? Why didn't you tidy it up after you finished using?" This was a typical example of irresponsible lab behaviour. But when the student apologized and offered to go clean it up right away, she said, "Never mind. Just come out with me now. We have some work to do."

Like, WHAT THE FUCK! So her student is excused from everything?! SERIOUSLY!

I mean, I have to thank her somewhat though. She really taught me the hard way, never to rely on someone too much. And also made me aspire to PROVE MYSELF TO HER. To SHOW HER I could work BETTER than her. She probably had a horrible mentor during her student days, and was jealous of my wonderful mentor. And how nice everyone else in the lab was to me. And I had a paper from this lab, as a student, with a world famous scientist as one of the authors with me, while she doesn't. I WILL PROVE MYSELF TO HER. Just she wait.

Some times I wonder. When she does things like these to students, would she have thought that one day her son might be treated like this too? What would she feel then? Would she have thought one day the students she used to bully might become her boss? She's not a very bright scientist you know. A scientist of her standard wouldn't rise to great ranks. And she doesn't have the leadership qualities it takes too. It doesn't take much to rise up above her once you have a PhD. No wonder people from her previous work places call her a bitch. Not very bright but yet always doing lots of dirty stuff behind ya back. I know why now.

When you look me in the eyes

2008-03-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

Recently been 'forced' to listen to this song by Jonas Brothers a lot.. cos the radio is always playing it. When you look me in the eyes. Until today, as I was listening to it on my ipod, listening carefully to it, I finally realized the lyrics were so damn beautiful man.. heh... so sharing it with u guys here.

When You Look Me In The Eyes-Jonas Brothers

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more, I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms
I know that it's forever
I just gotta let you know
I never wanna let you go

When you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh

Malaysian elections

2008-03-09T04:06:00.000-07:00

A political tsunami indeed. I'm not very familiar with the Malaysian politics but I do know that all the while their ruling party had enjoyed a 2/3 majority in the parliament. For the opposition to get 80 seats (up from 19), it is indeed a major upheaval.

All I can think of is, bad timing. It is a time of strife in Malaysia now, what with the ethnic Indian riots and displeasure, the ever increasing crime rates, the political scandals.. etc.

It reminded me a little of the displeasure in many Singaporeans now, of the crazy inflation rates, the crazy property prices (a little out of reach of ordinary Singaporeans), 7% GST and rising, numerous new ERP gantries etc. As long as it involves livelihoods of ordinary Singaporeans, its sure to strike a chord. Better than Malaysia, but still not too good.

And then I think, what if this happens in Singapore? What if this happens with the ruling party? What if one day, another party is going to take over the majority of the seats in Parliament? Workers Party? No, seriously. I think they are a good party, well organized and know what they want. But, are they ready to take over the country? Far from it.

What would happen to the Singapore Flyer, the IR, the Youth Olympic Stadium, etc? The ruling party is a good party. Yes they let Mas Selamat escape. And let inflation rates rise. And many other things. An opposition party ought to get a higher number of seats in the parliament to watch over them and make sure they do not squeeze the people dry of their hard earned savings, but for sure not an opposition majority no. No opposition party is mature enough to lead Singapore yet, not now. Not to sacrifice our riches and role as a leader in the region in one election, for the sake of showing the ruling party our displeasure. No way.

My only question is, what lays ahead for Malaysia now? How would this affect their relationship with Singapore? Abdullah is a moderate leader, friendly to our country. If Mahathir's son takes over, what will happen? Will he be as extreme and unfriendly as his father? Hmm.. will be answered in time.

Follow up

2008-03-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

Went for a follow up on Friday at SGH. As usual, there were tons of people crowded at clinic C. My grandma insisted on accompanying me although I felt bad about making her wait so long with me, I guess she sorta enjoyed herself talking to the aunties there.

And I just realized that I'm pretty much of an auntie 杀手 as well. Hehe.. I was talking to my grandma about the Mas Selamat escape, and an auntie beside me overheard and joined in the conversation. Heh... enjoyed myself chatting with her. Soon, the topic became what we were at the clinic for. By then, a few aunties nearby had joined in the conversation, happily chatting with me and my grandma. They all asked me why I was at the clinic cos I was so young and I looked so bubbly and healthy! Well, they all looked healthy too of course. But can't judge a book by its cover man.. heh.. turns out that most of them are suffering from breast cancer. So I told them that I just did a mammotome last week and the doctor determined that both lumps were benign. One was a fibroadenoma and another was a fibrocystic change (whatever that is).

After a really enjoyable time chatting with them, I had to leave the clinic. But I realized that together, we had brought a lot of laughter and fun to a sombre and depressing place. Then I realized, like during the mammotome, how important mutual support is in times of diseases like this. They needed to know that there are other people like them, suffering from the same kind of afflictment, and yet still are able to live happily and live strong. That gives them strength. It is a positive feedback loop and people just draw support from each other as more support is given.

So, that is that. Heh. Yup the doctor has already removed the 'tape' thing that is now used instead of stitches over my wound. She said the wound has already healed (but there are now 2 ugly red 1cm scars boo hoo... no more bikinis). It still hurts a little, the second wound showed a little bruising and stuff, but all is good! Heh.

At the same time, I also really feel blessed for having so many friends who are concerned and care about me. Those who knew, and smsed me good luck before the surgery, and those who found out after, and were concerned about my wellbeing. Heh. Thanks so much. True friends, these people.

This actually also really reminded me why I am doing what I am doing now. Why I toil every day in the lab, why I work so hard. Its not just for a thesis. Ultimately, its the people who are going to benefit from my work who are going to count. Its the thought that what I am doing today will be able to help others in future. Thats what drives me. And thats what should be driving everybody. Its inspirational.

I remind myself that every step is important, do not cut corners. Every small mistake or inaccuracy can make you waste weeks or months of your time. When you feel like you are not going to make it, think about the people you are going to help with your work. When you feel like doing something else instead of writing out that stupid report or working on your result presentation, think about how you can help others by letting other researchers know what you have found out from a well-written report. That's what keeps me going. And that's what should keep you going too!

Hehe.. okie enough of preaching today. Hope I will have a chance to update again soon!

Mammotome

2008-02-29T04:44:00.000-08:00

So today was the day of my mammotome. I finally went to the National Cancer Centre to remove the two lumps in my left breast. (Weijie thought it was a simple painless procedure so he didn't really care about me much =( but its not! Its not really a major surgical procedure but its definitely not painless.)

I reached the place at 2pm as requested by the nurses. Met this other lady there. She works in the pharmaceutical field and the doctor who operated on us both is actually also her customer. She said she knows all the good surgeons around so this is definitely one of the better ones. YEA! Started chatting with her. She had a small benign tumour too. 0.6cm. She juz did a mammotome 6 months ago but they didn't detect this. So now she has to come back and do this again. But at least she's covered by company insurance. Else this is definitely gonna bleed her wallet. This seemingly simple painless procedure costs a whooping $2.5k!!! Amount claimable by medisave is just a mere $800. Sigh....

So this lady was really nice. She told me what it was gonna be like and not to worry and good luck for my procedure blah blah... and she even offered me her mag when I realized the rest of the mags at the waiting area were too damn old (year 2003!). This gungho lady even managed to drive herself home after the procedure!

Anyway, when the time came for me to go in, I was fully prepared but very tired (long waiting time for the doctor). The doctor explained the procedure to me once again.. but after that I was to find that it was nothing as simple as what she described! Her 'needle' was actually an instrument about 1cm in width!

So she first injected the anaesthesia into 2 places: the place where she was going to poke the instrument in and the place where the lump is. Then, she turned on the vacuum pump and made an incision in the skin, then she slowly slowly used all her strength to push the instrument underneath my skin, from the incision all the way to where the lump is (about a few cm away), guided by the ultrasound scanner. I could feel the instrument being pushed all the way in, the resistance of the tissue to the instrument, and the strength the doctor was exerting to push it in. ARGH! And I looked at the scanner monitor, and could see the instrument being pushed beneath the lump (measuring 1.03cm).

The instrument I'm talking about is actually something like a cylinder with a sharp tip. The centre was hollow, and there was a hole at the side of the cylinder. The doctor positioned the hole below the lump and made sure the lump sat nicely on the hole. Then she activated the blade near the hole. The blade would sort of 'open' and 'shut' the hole, in effect slicing the part of the lump that sat inside the hole. So with each slice, a slice of the lump gets sucked up into the vacuum pump. And slowly, the entire lump disappeared into nothingness. COOL! Except I could still feel slight pain as the blade sliced up the lump. Probably because the instrument was positioned right beneath my skin, a rather sensitive location perhaps. Ouch.

Finally, the lump was gone! The doctor made me stare at the screen as she used the instrument to mince up my flesh (the sadist). =.= Then she told me, "See? The lump is slowly disappearing!" YEA! But pain leh doctor... boohoo. Worse still.. after the lump disappeared, she said, "Ok just a few more slices. To make sure everything is really gone ok." Wah lau.. as if I haven't lost enough of my breast tissue. I demand a free augmentation!

After everything, the doctor got the nurse to hold the gauze against the wound to stop the bleeding. Took about 10-20 minutes. After 20 minutes, I thought it was all over. I could finally go out to meet my anxiously waiting mother (for about 2 hours now!). Then the nurse said, "Ok. Now, time for the 2nd lump!" WHAT!!!! I thought you removed both together!!! T.T

2nd lump was smaller. 0.6cm or thereabouts. Sigh.. went thru the pain once again. Injection of the anaesthesia, "Gonna feel a burning sensation ya? This is the worst part. Bear with it ok?" Sigh ok ok.. Just wanna get this over and done with. *wince*

Finally, after another agonizing 45 minutes, it was all over. I was helped to the recovery room where the very nice nurse held the gauze against the wound for a really long time till the bleeding stopped, then she applied the dressing on. The nice nurses also held my hands throughout the entire procedure!!! *smiles* And they said I was a cool girl cos I didn't fidget and I didn't look like I was scared at all! Yea brave girl! Heh.

Something interesting that happened. When I was supposed to sign the confirmation letter, the nurse stopped me. "Girl, you are underage right? Where's your mama?" WAH!!!! Hehe she thought I was below 21! After the doctor told her I was already 23, she still said, "But you look so young!" Hee..

So now, no swimming for 2 weeks, no using of left hand for 2 days or more, no exercise! The doc sorta 'forced' me to take an MC on Monday, cos she said I had 2 incisions, shouldn't go work. Might bleed a lot and have a lot of bruising tt can last up to a month! Haiz how can? Friday gotta take off again cos need to go back to see her. 2 days no work next week?! How to finish my project?? Die lo. Haha don't think I can do that la.. Shall see how I feel on Monday! Heh.

Busy week

2008-02-29T04:14:00.001-08:00

WHEE!!!!

Sorry haven't been blogging for a while. In fact, I really shouldn't be typing so much now. Just had a minor operation and I had been adviced not to move my left hand much lest the wound opens again. (Will update about that later) But now I'm waiting for this call from JHU, they got these professors to interview me by phone and they were supposed to call at 7.45pm and it's 8.16pm now! Hmm falling asleep waiting for them.. so I decided to blog. Heh.

The past week had been CRAZY! That explains the lack of updates. So my mentor had reservice for 3 weeks. And I was left on my own basically, but he told me what I should be doing these 3 weeks. So I had to do the usual cell culture, and then western blot and real time PCR. But there was this particular cell line that wasn't growing very well until I changed the medium to a different, more nutritious one, and it only became fully confluent for harvest last week. That left me with a week to do western blot AND real time PCR AND also continue cell culture.

So I realized it was gonna be kind of hard. So I asked him if I could leave western blot till next week, when he returns. And he said, "Hmm ok then you stop at the blocking step. You block then dry the membrane and wait for me to come back." *FAINT* might as well do the entire Western right... only less the primary and secondary antibody!

So anyway, everyday was a horrible rush. It was so bad I had to physically RUN around lab to be able to finish my work on time. And yes I'm not supposed to stay overtime without any staff present cos I was a student so if I screw up anything in the lab they die. And basically, the staff there go home on time so there. Can't stay late. I had lunch at 1+pm or 2pm cos couldn't finish my work. Well, you get the idea. Best not to bore those non-bio students eh.

But anyway, there's still good news from this lab for me! Heh. Remember I once joined the lab as an attachment student a long long long long time ago? Before I left for Vancouver. So I did some work on some clinical samples there that time, and now the paper's been written and submitted and is undergoing review! YIPPEE!!! Apparently there are a few contenders but my nice mentor decided to put me as one of the co-authors! Wahaha! After he told me that news, I decided I will never ever disappoint him and I nodded enthusiastically when he said, "Do western blot. Do real time. Do cell culture." Heh... can't really blame no one but myself for my hard life this week eh.. Hehe!

Some interesting links

2008-02-24T05:50:00.000-08:00

Yup I decided to change the skin cos I'm rather bored... heh...

Updates on my life? Hmm been trying to find a job lately.. kinda hard. Both job searching n graduate school searching. Have a few interviews lined up but nothing concrete yet. Dunno what lies ahead.. not sure what to do where to go. Sigh I'm at a cross road now!!!

Anyway, the other day, the very irritating ex-TCHS guy spilled my 96-well plate! It was a whole week worth of work mind you... and I specially went back really early on Friday, though I had a medical appointment, to finish it up! It was at the very last stage of a week long process... a 10 minute incubation. This idiot lined his agar plates everywhere in the incubator and I had no space to place my 96-well plate.. so I had no choice but to place it on top of his.. I thought it wasn't nice to touch his things and move them around. And I was thinking, I'll just keep an eye on it or something.

But then my colleague talked to me, and I turned around to talk to her... it was the very last minute before I could remove the 96-well plate from the incubator...

By the time I finished talking to her and turned around... DAMN! That idiot had already spilled the plate! And when I looked at him and asked him in shock, "You SPILLED IT?" He replied, "Not everything.." WHAT?! As if it changes the fact that he's made my whole week of work go down the drain!!!! Arghh!!!! He sucks.

Total S.O.B.

Nvm abt him.. so some interesting links for ya... heh

Check out this on Stomp!!! OMG heart is aching... 2 Porsches!!!

Check this out too... very inspirational story.. its like one of the My Paper's Feel Good Monday articles!!!!

2008-02-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

Why Our World Class Gifted Education Program Is So Screwed Up

This colleague from the lab just had this family tragedy to cope with. A few days before CNY she rushed back to M'sia after receiving news that her younger brother had just met with a traffic accident and was badly injured. Sadly, he passed on a few days after, on the 2nd day of CNY. The colleague stayed on in M'sia to keep her mum company as her mum was very affected. She just came back this week.

So when we saw her, everyone crowded around her, offering her our condolences and asking her to be strong, which she is, thankfully. She told us the story, how the accident happened, how her mum behaved and how badly she was coping, and how she and her sister had to keep doing things to distract her. They watch dramas with her every night till she got so tired she fell asleep. And then she was describing how she and her sister had to be very careful and sensitive and pick dramas or shows with happy contents and nothing about cars or accidents or deaths or whatever.

Then in comes this ex-Chinese High Gifted Education Program National Bridge Player (or so he always likes to proudly claim.. and oh yes he's on his way to Cambridge for his undergraduate studies!). He happily went up to her and gave her his few cents worth on the situation, "Oh then there's one thing your mum can't watch for sure. The F1 competition!"

2008-02-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

I was eyeing this wallet for some time... Especially now that my bro has a 25% discount at Gucci. Rather worthwhile.

So I went with my mum one day to the Gucci at Paragon, to check it out. There's this red color version that's totally HAWT. So my mum went to ask the man at the counter to show us the wallet. So the conversation that ensued:

Me: So is this wallet from the new collection?

Salesman: No this is from last season. This season its mostly leather wallets.

Me: Oh ok. Hm I prefer monogram wallets.

Salesman: Yup leather wallets are generally more expensive. I would suggest you look at last season's stuff because they are more suitable for entry level buys.

Me: *wtf*!

Walked out of the shop after that. Tul*n... my god... I was telling my mum... KAOZ me don't look like me can afford it is it?? 我气起来把他整间店买下来! wahaha ok la cant afford the whole shop but still!!!! I mean, to his credit he said it totally sincerely and stuff.. but I'm still buay song cos he implied that I can't afford the stuff in the shop. Man! If I'm in that shop means I can afford it ok?! Sian..

Heh so anyway I was thinking, if it's last season then there's no reason why I should buy it from the flagship cuz I'm pretty sure 2nd hand shops should carry it at a much lower price. Yup. And my aunt happens to have some 2nd hand luxury goods lobang so I'm asking her to keep a lookout for me! Hehe need a new wallet!

Watching The Pianist on tv now.. but I can't take it any longer. My god... its so dark... the plain horror and fear instilled in people.. the cruelty and atrocities... They threw an old man in a wheelchair down 5 levels just cos he can't stand up when they asked him to. I can't watch it any longer its so horrible... i'm juz gonna go to bed.. goodnight!

2008-02-15T08:29:00.001-08:00

Let us celebrate this season of love! Wahaha so cliche n disgusting =.=

But we're 2 uncreative people.. so Wj n I decided to celebrate Valentine's day the old cliche way... going to a restaurant! Wj brought me to Waraku @ Central, with fantastic Jap food and a fantastic river view.

The old cliche tradition of giving a girl flowers on this special day.. with a modern n personal twist... its a handmade flower! Wj slept only at 3am the day before juz to make this... wow... i don't know what to say.. except maybe that... kaoz spend so much time n this is the result!? Hehe juz kidding. Appreciate it a lot. Minus the super glue marks at the back. Hee

We had bubbly!!! Expensive stuff!!!! Ok ok.. its actually cheap 'sparkling wine'. Duno what the hell that is.. maybe with 0.0001% alcohol??

My present.. hahaha... juz a small lil card! Actually there's another wrapped box but he didn't take a picture with that.. I told him there was a bomb inside and he got freaked out and threw it aside. Hehe

My present... Guess what?! Kurosaki Ichigo... he claims it can't be found in Singapore.. cos he got it imported from Japan, and he even added some personal touches so its unique.. the one and only in the world!
Personal touch 1: the flower in his hand.
Personal touch 2: Something on Ichigo's butt. But no pictures here. Hehe
Personal touch 3: A cute plaster on his head cos Wj claims he looks too fierce like that. =.=

Ooh the food!!!! Itadakimasu! He's taking the BBQ set!

The fantastic river view...

My food.. paper steamboat (kaminabe... try pronouncing that... rather tough not to make it sound vulgar)

Kurosaki stood at one corner and glared at us throughout the meal.. I think he's jealous. So I gave him my flower.

Heh... to the more updated people.... yup our darling Wj has submitted an entry to STOMP's Love-in. I thought there would be a prize like some PS vouchers or something but well, hahaha don't think our story is impressive enough sia... wahaha. Anyhow here's the link... if u can take all the mushy stuff. If you have a weak stomach, den I suggest u give it a miss... hehe

However, as we are rejoicing over this season of love, let us not forget our single brothers and sisters who are suffering on this cruel day. Here's a collection of all their sad (and some rather hilarious) stories. There's even a link to a 'hot Singaporean woman' who had 'major gastrointestinal problems'... oh dear oh dear... all sounds like the perfect brew for a Valentine's day date from hell! Haha!

Ok that's all for now.. till more... tata!

2008-02-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

FREAKING HELL! This is DAMN FREAKIN SCARY!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS EMAIL SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

"Subject: BMS203 - Change in Grade

Dear Students,

Due to computer errors in the exam processing, our School would like to apologise for the release of wrong examination results to you.

As such, the examination results will be revised and updated for “BMS203 TCM Diagnostics” taken in AY2007/2008 Semester 1.

Most of the cases will be revised to a difference of one grade level.

You will be receiving an official letter from the Office of Academic Services soon.

Once again, we aplogise for the mistake.

Please note that there will be no letters sent by the Office of Academic Services.

Your revised grade will be updated in your Degree Audit by end of next week."

WTF!!!! U apologize?! Its the freakin equivalent of TWO modules!!! Fucking hell... just SO typical of NTU. Even after making a FREAKONOMOUS mistake like that, they wont entertain any students and fuck 'there will be NO letters sent by the OAS'. They actually have the face to BOLD that NO when they fuckin made a mistake. COMPUTER MISTAKE MY ASS. Always PUSHING the fucking blame. Disgusting NTU admin.

BE WARNED! All to-be NTU students! DONT EVER COME! This is the SHIT you have to endure for the next 3-4 years if u come!

2008-01-28T07:06:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Thanks all you guys for ur well wishes! So, I got a call from the specialist today, although they said initially that I would have to wait 2-3 working days before the results will be out... but guess its out early! And I can rest easy for now... The results showed that... that 1cm lumpy thing is actually a fibroadenoma, commonly known as a fibroid. YAY! So... that means I will only have to go back to the specialist 3 months later for another scan to check if the lump has grown bigger.. otherwise there's no need to remove it! Yippee!

Plus, today, tried a different assay and finally got the results for a really difficult to work with cell line! YAY! So happy today. Gonna go out shopping tmr evening with mum... heh gotta buy some stuff for CNY!!!!

My desire list includes:
1. This pair of absolutely gorgeous peep-toed wedges I'd been eyeing for some time, available in gold and silver! Purrrrfect for CNY!
2. Loreal steam hair curlers! Hee..
3. The Maybelline mascara? That super dramatic curves thing they show on tv all the time? With one white end and one black end? Whoa.. super tempting.. heh
4. Hmm many many more!!! YEA!!!

Ooh... came across a few interesting sites to recommend once again...
1. THIS is the site that documents one very brave Singaporean young lady and her fight against ovarian cancer. Interesting to read, especially considering the work I'm doing in the lab now involves potential anti-cancer drug development.

2. THIS is the blog of the daughter of John McCain, Republican candidate for presidency. Interesting things she writes about the campaigning and stuff like that... and yes she's also a normal 23 year old who writes some stuff about fashion and shoes and the likes.. cool!

Ok that's all.. need my rest.. used up too much adrenaline today, rushing out my results before my mentor had to leave!!! CYA GUYS AROUND!!!

2008-01-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I lost my boyfriend..... to this, no less...... this piece of crap!!! Wahaha

Wj was so freaking absorbed by this he wasn't even paying attention to whatever I was saying! Man... and I went on Youtube and found this... rather funny I must say.. haha.. Geox shoes.. shoes that breath! Get your own at Paragon now! Opposite TCC.

2008-01-25T21:17:00.000-08:00

Health Woes

Had left shoulder ache and chest pain the other day, and went to a GP after constant nagging by my mum. The GP, without asking me anymore or examining me much, immediately asked me to go to SGH A & E. Idiotic. She said though the symptoms of pain were not classical she wasn't going to take chances and sent me on my way after giving me some panadol for muscle pain. Did not really feel like going cos I was really tired, it was already 10pm, but then thought the better of it after a while. Ok ok.. the GP frightened me with her serious look and lecturing tone. So I went.

At SGH, the doctor examined me and asked me what's wrong. After I told him what happened, he scoffed, "So the GP gave u Anarex (panadol for muscle ache) and asked u to come here? Why didn't u take the Anarex and see if the pain went away before coming?" Me, "Uhh... because she asked me to come right away?" Doc shakes head..

So he did a blood test and x-ray and urine test (pregnancy test actually as he revealed later, cos in case I was pregnant they couldn't do the x-ray). And I waited 3 whole hours for the blood test results! In addition to the waiting time for consultation, we waited 6 hours in all! Went home only at 4am... damn! Had to wake up so early for lab the next day...

So this same GP also examined my chest and found that wherever I told her was hurting was actually a lump. She pressed it a little, and then she told me the lump on the left breast was a cyst. Most probably non cancerous cos it was mobile. But it hurt. So my worried mum made an appointment with a specialist on really short notice (1 day), and today the fully booked specialist came down an hour earlier to her clinic at Mount Elizabeth just so she had sufficient time to examine me. Nice.

The nice lady asked me some questions and I told her the GP told me the lump was a cyst and told me she was referring me to a specialist at SGH but the appointment kept getting delayed till abt a month later the last time I heard (horrible healthcare system that is also freakin bloodthirsty as well). So my anxious mum got me an appointment with this private specialist instead.

After chatting a while, she examines me and did an ultrasound scan, and found.. surprise surprise! It ain't no cyst! I mean, yea she found some tiny little cysts but those were harmless. But that hard little lump there, which, according to the GP, was a fluid-filled cyst was actually a solid lump. Measuring about 1cm. She also examined the armpit areas but the lymph nodes there were fine. So that's sort of a relief I guess. But the lump was worrying. She decided to do a fine needle aspiration to take some cells and send them to a lab for testing.

FINE NEEDLE ASPIRATION? Sounds harmless enough. She said, "It's just poking a needle in.. like those u use for injection, then moving it around a little and loosening some cells, then pulling the plunger out to take out some cells and put them on a slide. It's just like an injection." Sounds so totally painless. Damn.. what the hell did she mean by 'loosening some cells'?!

But I pushed that question to the back of my mind as she started smiling at me sweetly and got the nurse in to help her along. The nurse came in, and dug around in this drawer a bit.. and when she straightened her back, in her hand was this HUGE syringe with a needle attached, and a smaller one, which already contained some clear fluid that I learned later was anaesthetic. I was freaking out. The doc put some jelly on the ultrasound scanner and put it on the lump area, then still smiling at me, pushed that tiny syringe into my flesh. I bit my mouth to stifle a yelp. The injection area was already aching and sore. Next I closed my eyes and refused to look. When I opened them next, the HUGE syringe was already inside my flesh! AHHHH!!!! I turned my head to look at the ultrasound screen instead... the uber LONG needle was poking around underneath my skin!!! AHHHH!!! Closed my eyes again. My weak heart can't take this..

When it was finally all over, I was left with a plaster on the poked area, a sore entire upper left part of my body including my left arm which couldn't even exert much strength, and my parents left 380 bucks poorer. Breakdown:
$80 consultation
$100 ultrasound
$60 fine needle aspiration
$116 cytology (lab testing of my cells)

The rest are for the Goods and Services Tax, otherwise known as Government of Singapore Tax. Money for their pockets.

Apparently the doc gave me a discount.. 20% on the consultation, which should be $100 for a 15 min consultation (but I actually went in for more like an hour, which should cost $150), and 60% on the fine needle aspiration, which should cost $150. Nice. Hopefully she gives me more discounts next time!

Yea next time. Cos there are 2 ways this can go...

1. Benign: GOOD! No need to visit her for 3 months, and after that just a check up to monitor the lump and see if it's still growing.

2. Cancerous: Go back within the next week so she can discuss what to do next.

Either way I have to go back somehow. So the results will be back on Tuesday or Wednesday. Wish me luck!

So if u happen to see me along the streets some day, please do not tell me I've lost weight or I look tired or whatever... those are the things I least wanna hear now... really! Its scary.. cos I'm eating so much more now.

And yes, the reason for me not blogging regularly is due to my poor health recently, and of course also FYP. But that's another story for another day.. cos my arm is hurting!! Shouldn't type too much aye? Tata!

2008-01-14T07:16:00.000-08:00

Some pictures!!!

Long overdue.. pictures from Triple 3 @ Mandarin hotel! The desserts there were totally yummilicious~~~~ WOOHOO!! Five whole buffet tables just filled with desserts alone! And there were other stuff of cos.. like crabs, sashimi and lobster...whee!

Then last Sat, decided to go to Botanic Garden! Heh some nature-lovin' eh? Us both? So the minute we walked in, we saw this ang moh, holding his guitar, sitting under a tree, strumming and singing away. Wj whispered to me, "Wah... this place really very 诗情画意 arh." wahaha wanted to make him take some pics and send to Stomp! But he was afraid of being beaten up cos the ang moh was rather big-sized. =.= humster

We went to a few places in there... really nice places to juz sit and relax and enjoy the sights and sounds.

Can u spot me in the picture below? Spot-KS-contest, now on! Prize for the winner: a bottle of organic mud, from our very own Botanic Garden!
Wj copy me.. wants u guys to spot him too. Copycat.

The surroundings were so tranquil u just wanna sit there, get a book, sip lemonade, and escape from the hustle and bustle of the busy city just a short walk away.

Ooh this place reminds me of this garden in Vancouver.. can't really recall the name though.. the flowers there are really colourful and pretty. But u gotta pay like, CAD20 to get in. For Singapore Botanic Gardens its free so don't expect too much arh! Hehe..

2 interesting reads:

1. Scientists create a beating heart from stem cells in the lab!! WHEE!!! Lots of impt implications.. cos they use the heart from a dead animal as a scaffold, strip the dead cells of that heart, then inject stem cells around the scaffold to let the cells grow and regenerate into a real heart. They claim this spells hope for tissue transplant. But I would think, the real implication is, now, for patients who have died after a myocardiac infarction, they can actually remove the heart and regenerate it! The patient's body can be kept cold to prevent brain damage. After the heart has grown, it can be transplanted back into the patient. But will this have some bioethics issue?? Hmm..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7179604.stm

2. Train your eyes to see color, again. This article is about the power of being focussed. If we are focussed on something, that thing will be amplified and will seem to have more impact than it actually is. Read the article to find out more! I think its interesting to cultivate ur character this way.. whenever someone annoys u, rather than focusing on why he/she is annoying, think of his/her positive traits. You will feel better this way. Will talk abt this article more if I have time. Heh. V bz these days.
http://thinksimplenow.com/clarity/train-your-eyes-to-see-color-again/

3. Singaporeans among the happiest in the world! Got this of Weewee's blog. Tried to submit it to Tomorrow.sg. Strange.. seems like the editors of Tomorrow.sg only go for Singapore-bashing articles. They did not accept this article.. not very fair eh? Heh.. wanna know what its about? Read it!
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Story?id=4097264&page=1

2008-01-13T06:44:00.000-08:00

Ooooh! Recently there are a lot of things I would like to blog about.. cos recently I've been seeing a lot of rather interesting things around now. Now that there's all that big hoo-ha about citizen journalism, quoting the New Paper (or some other paper that has a citizen journalism column that asks readers to email interesting photos in), "Seen anything newsy or interesting?" and Stomp, "Singapore Seen. You generate the content. You write the reports. You take the photos. You shoot the videos."

COOL!

Its slowly being drilled into me.. this 'citizen journalism' thingee.. so as such, wherever I go now, whenever I 'see anything newsy or interesting', I will stop and take pictures of them and then think of how to submit it to Stomp! Wahaha. There will be some coming up! But right now, I will dedicate this post to something I read about PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
My knowledge of the existence of this society started from my school days. One particular incident happened during JC, when our GP tutor showed us a video produced by them. The total disgust I had after watching the video, and the horribly subjective and untruthful depictions of the massacres of animals totally turned me off. It was how manipulative the video was that made me distrustful of this whole organization. How they liked to do all sorts of publicity stunts. Remember the Maggie Q ad? With just chili peppers covering the essentials. What kinda charity organization is that!

Now the truth is out. PETA uses the money well-wishes donate to EUTHANIZE up to 97% of the animals they pick up! Total hypocrites! PETA raised over USD$30 million last year. Only to use that money to kill the animals its employees ever see. DISGUSTING!

Do read it. And let your friends and relatives know, never to trust whatever PETA says!

Gonna concuss soon. Will upload some 'citizen journalism' photos, together with some other photos tmr! NITE!!!

2008-01-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, was walking to the bus stop after work to board a bus home when we saw this lady walking past. I was captivated by the pendant of the necklace she was wearing, because it was rather large, and it was also shaped like the head of Mickey (as in Disney Mickey)! Its silver in colour. And then, it happened like magic. From seemingly nowhere, she drew up a pair of earphones and plugged them into 'Mickey pendant', and VOILA! It was actually an MP3 player!

I nudged blur king Wj and psst psst quite a bit before he finally noticed.. and after that he actually managed to find these cuties online!!! They were being sold on some Japanese website. The one I saw didn't have these diamantes/crystals though... These are produced by iRiver. Heh totally cute! Anyone wanna buy one? Contact me! Heheee

2008-01-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

BREAKING NEWS!

Something REALLY REALLY interesting and EXCITING I read online... OMG OMG!!!

Go read the paper or something ok science students?! MY GOD the symptoms of ALZHEIMER'S are REVERSED in MINUTES!!!! By a simple drug, using a novel method! This is so mind blowing and powerful in that the results are seen in a mere 10 minutes!! TEN!

OK so to cut a long story short for non-science students, this research group tried this anti-TNF alpha drug that is usually used to treat rheumatic arthritis, on Alzheimer's patients. Cos elevated TNF alpha levels are detected in Alzheimer's patients (conventional Alzheimer's therapy focus on beta amyloid). So they injected 250mg of this drug into the spinal cord of patients. Initially, the patient could neither identify the state of US he stayed in, nor recall which year it is. In a mere TEN minutes after injection, he could identify the state he stayed in a recall the year. He could also pass some cognitive Alzheimer's tests. The symptoms further improved after two hours. Its totally crazy and so powerful!!! MY GOD!

I was telling my colleague.. this man is gonna win the Nobel prize. But the dumb article was published in a totally obscure journal called Journal of Neuroinflammation. Have no idea why. And u know what? The drug, developed by Pfizer for rheumatic arthritis patients, is FDA approved. So now Pfizer is gonna earn BIG!!! WHOA!

K for those truly interested now, read on! Heh hope I've piqued ur curiousity. Hehe.. docs and science students alike!

Reversal Of Alzheimer's Symptoms Within Minutes In Human Study

ScienceDaily (Jan. 9, 2008) — An extraordinary new scientific study, which for the first time documents marked improvement in Alzheimer’s disease within minutes of administration of a therapeutic molecule, has just been published in the Journal of Neuroinflammation.

This new study highlights the importance of certain soluble proteins, called cytokines, in Alzheimer’s disease. The study focuses on one of these cytokines, tumor necrosis factor-alpha(TNF), a critical component of the brain’s immune system. Normally, TNF finely regulates the transmission of neural impulses in the brain. The authors hypothesized that elevated levels of TNF in Alzheimer’s disease interfere with this regulation. To reduce elevated TNF, the authors gave patients an injection of an anti-TNF therapeutic called etanercept. Excess TNF-alpha has been documented in the cerebrospinal fluid of patients with Alzheimer’s.

The new study documents a dramatic and unprecedented therapeutic effect in an Alzheimer’s patient: improvement within minutes following delivery of perispinal etanercept, which is etanercept given by injection in the spine. Etanercept (trade name Enbrel) binds and inactivates excess TNF. Etanercept is FDA approved to treat a number of immune-mediated disorders and is used off label in the study.

The use of anti-TNF therapeutics as a new treatment choice for many diseases, such as rheumatoid arthritis and potentially even Alzheimer’s, was recently chosen as one of the top 10 health stories of 2007 by the Harvard Health Letter.

Similarly, the Neurotechnology Industry Organization has recently selected new treatment targets revealed by neuroimmunology (such as excess TNF) as one of the top 10 Neuroscience Trends of 2007. And the Dana Alliance for Brain Initiatives has chosen the pilot study using perispinal etanercept for Alzheimer’s for inclusion and discussion in their 2007 Progress Report on Brain Research.

The lead author of the study, Edward Tobinick M.D., is an assistant clinical professor of medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles and director of the Institute for Neurological Research, a private medical group in Los Angeles. Hyman Gross, M.D., clinical professor of neurology at the University of Southern California, was co-author.

The study is accompanied by an extensive commentary by Sue Griffin, Ph.D., director of research at the Donald W. Reynolds Institute on Aging at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences (UAMS) in Little Rock and at the Geriatric Research and Clinical Center at the VA Hospital in Little Rock, who along with Robert Mrak, M.D., chairman of pathology at University of Toledo Medical School, are editors-in-chief of the Journal of Neuroinflammation.

Griffin and Mrak are pioneers in the field of neuroinflammation. Griffin published a landmark study in 1989 describing the association of cytokine overexpression in the brain and Alzheimer’s disease. Her research helped pave the way for the findings of the present study. Griffin has recently been selected for membership in the Dana Alliance for Brain Initiatives, a nonprofit organization of more than 200 leading neuroscientists, including ten Nobel laureates.

“It is unprecedented that we can see cognitive and behavioral improvement in a patient with established dementia within minutes of therapeutic intervention,” said Griffin. “It is imperative that the medical and scientific communities immediately undertake to further investigate and characterize the physiologic mechanisms involved. This gives all of us in Alzheimer’s research a tremendous new clue about new avenues of research, which is so exciting and so needed in the field of Alzheimer’s. Even though this report predominantly discusses a single patient, it is of significant scientific interest because of the potential insight it may give into the processes involved in the brain dysfunction of Alzheimer’s.”

While the article discusses one patient, many other patients with mild to severe Alzheimer’s received the treatment and all have shown sustained and marked improvement.

The new study, entitled “Rapid cognitive improvement in Alzheimer’s disease following perispinal etanercept administration,” and the accompanying commentary, entitled “Perispinal etanercept: Potential as an Alzheimer’s therapeutic,” are available on the Web site of the Journal of Neuroinflammation (http://www.jneuroinflammation.com/content/5/1/2/abstract).

Author Hyman Gross, M.D., has no competing interests. Author Edward Tobinick, M.D. owns stock in Amgen, the manufacturer of etanercept, and has multiple issued and pending patents assigned to TACT IP LLC that describe the parenteral and perispinal use of etanercept for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease and other neurological disorders, including, but not limited to, U.S. patents 6015557, 6177077, 6419934, 6419944, 6537549, 6982089, 7214658 and Australian patent 758523.

PET Scan of Alzheimer's Disease Brain. (Credit: NIH/National Institute On Aging)

2008-01-06T06:25:00.000-08:00

Last last week (or was it last last last week?) we went to the museum! The Singapore History Museum (or something like that). Cos there was this FANTASTIC Greek exhibit all the way from the Louvre!! Its the first time ever that so many exhibits had been loaned out of the Louvre at the same time, and they are arranged in a different order from the Louvre. Classified differently. So thats pretty incredible. These guys took a first class flight from Singapore Airlines too eh!

Haven't been in the museum since... secondary school??

They had these interesting lights.. they were all pendulums swinging in periodic motion! (I'm a physics nut wahaha)

Some ulu person thought the toilets looked totally jaw-dropping-ly amazing and had to take not one..
But TWO pictures of it. Oh well.. satisfies the voyeuristic fantasies of girls who've never been inside male toilets like myself... save for 2 embarrassing incidents.. but that's another story for another day.

So they had these chess sets at one corner.. for you to sit and relax and rest and while away time. It is a remake of games of the Greek era. Okok.. I was just sitting cos I haven't really recovered from a bout of flu and I felt faint after standing for long =.=

So this was the exhibition we went for!

You will get it from me for stealing my nerdy glasses!!! *strangles*

Sorry folks.. thats all for the Greek exhibits cos u can't take pictures of them. Hehe.. but learned a lot about Greek mythology and Zeus and Athena and Hercules and Cupid who's also called Eros and so on. And all (almost all) the statues are either nude or semi nude.. i.e. in a state of undress. I believe Jl will love this exhibition. HEHE. There are some interesting stories about them as well.. like how this really ugly god has a really pretty wife but yet still goes around trying to force himself on other pretty girls. I believe ancient Greeks are rather hum sup.. hehe..

This was a local exhibit... called 'Public Service' or something... interesting!
"Hello hello can you hear me?"

"Eh? You sayin' something?"
A self-professed 'artistic fella' took an 'artistic' shot.

Being a total idiot wahaha

Back at pendulum lights.. pendulum swing swing swing
On the way back, passed by these floats... for the Christmas parade. They were rehearsing (ok these photos are pretty late haha)!Cute huh! These uncles and aunties waved at us! Hehehe

More floats!
Yup thats all folks! Its been some time since my last photo entry.. was actually too lazy to do this but since SOMEONE was too lazy to blog these photos up I got so pekchek I decided to do the job myself. Hehe for those who have yet to catch the Greek exhibit... be sure to catch it fast! Especially if you are an arts or history freak! Cos its totally interesting. And if you are a student, student price is just 4 bucks! Catch it now! Once in a lifetime chance to save on that air ticket to France! P.S. if you are in France right now, sorry buddy.. no point going to the Louvre cos the exhibits there are right here in Singapore!!! Hehe

2008-01-03T00:13:00.000-08:00

Arloz people!

Have been gone the longest time.. since my last post.

Firstly, MERRY belated CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY belated NEW YEAR! Its 2008! Welcomed the new year with a buncha year mates at Xinyi's, over steamboat! WHEE! Exciting stuff. Would have posted up the photos except I'm too bloody lazy. Haha! Go to Facebook pals. There's a super unglam photo of me tagged tho. Be warned =.=

So yesterday was the 2nd day of the new year! Went to the dentist, prepared to extract my wisdom tooth (bubbai newfound wisdom)! Then the dentist told me it wasn't fully grown yet so uhh.. if I wanted to extract it now chances are he would have to operate (screams). So he would advise me to go home and let it grow and then go back and see him when its grown out!

Ok yay! So I've told my mentor I would not be going on Thursday (today) and Friday, and I've planned my experiments such that I don't have anything to do today and tmr. I really should have gone though.. except for the fact that I'm still ill. AHHH!!! WHY WHY WHY?!

Yes Weeweecat.. I seem to be suffering from the same predicament as you. So you see, I went to the GP again last time after that ultrasound yielded no results. And yup. Told him I have this recurring flu since eons ago (on and off since the exam period!). And he prescribed this nasal spray and some other flu medication and told me to self-medicate using panadol should a fever come up.. and sent me off. Without so much as explaining to me whats going on =.=

And now I keep having a recurring fever, lethargy, muscle aches all over, phlegm, and a lil bit of cough and stuff, for over a week. And to make things worse, this past week I've been having problems sleeping. Will wake up numerous times in the middle of the night, only to feel horribly tired during the day. Have been eating a lot more than usual (in a bid to try to get myself to recover faster) but ended up losing 2kg still. Fish said I should patent this flu-like thing and earn some money from people who wanna lose weight. Uhhh... =.="

Been self-diagnosing using this symptom-checker thing and wikipedia. Jl will surely cringe (NO WAY!). Haha. Arghh feeling super pekchek.. so lethargy I can't get anything done... decided to take 2 days off to rest and see whether I get better but thinking back, I've rested so long during the xmas NY break and still I can't get better! Wonder what is wrong with me.. this flu thing isn't so much of a suffering.. more like a pain in the ass cos it juz seems to sap the energy from me and I can't do anything!

MAKE ME GET WELL SOON!!!!! ARGHH

2007-12-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

Must have broken many records seeing doctors this week. First, my mum had this horrible pain in her arm, causing numbness etc and I accompanied her to this doc. Since I was there, she insisted I ask the doc about this nagging ache in my lower left abdomen, something I had thought nothing much about. That was on Sunday.

The GP probed around a bit, then asked where the pain was, then said, "I can't feel any lumps but I think I will refer you to my son-in-law. He is a gynae. Because you see, if you keep having a pain there it could mean something is wrong with your ovary."

I asked him, "Is this really necessary? I mean, it is not that painful. It is more like an ache."

Doc, "You never know what. Because if you keep having a pain there it could mean something is wrong. I used to have a patient who kept having constipation. I never felt any lumps or anything but when I sent her for a scan it turns out she has a cancer somewhere higher up in the digestive system."

Me, "=.="

But upon my mum's insistence, I agreed to go for it. Not truly believing I was having any weird diseases though. Until I got home and went to wiki 'Ovarian cancer'. And found that to my horror, I have like, so many similar symptoms to it! I was freaked out. I mean, upon retrospect, most of the symptoms appear to be linked anyway, like bloatedness, feeling of fullness, nausea etc. But it was still enough to freak me out.

So I remained freaked out for 3 days, over the course of xmas. My xmas was completely spoilt. I couldn't enjoy anything, juz kept thinking of the worse that could happen. And I had to put up a strong front for my parents who were totally worried sick. Never felt so scared in my entire life, call me a scaredy cat but when its staring at u in the face its totally different.

I started thinking a lot. I wasn't as much scared as feeling it was unfair. I have so many things I have yet to do. I wanna have kids still. I wanna be able to take care of my parents while they grow old as they had taken care of me when I was growing up. Its unfair they have to go thru this when they painstakingly brought me up to the age of 22 when I might have to leave them without even letting them enjoy the fruit of their labour.

But then I thought, I have lived my life fully and happily, I have not many regrets. If I have to go, at least I know when I'm leaving and I have a chance to prepare for it. Not many people have this chance.

But the very thought is still horribly scary.

So finally, I had the ultrasound. The doctor couldn't find anything wrong with me! I had a cyst, but that was normal. Other than that, everything was fine.

This whole incident taught me a few things. I would call it a life changing experience. I saw the world around me in a totally different light. I started appreciating the people around me, the little things I see everyday.
1. My dad and bro specially went to the temple to pray for my health, without letting me know, knowing I was too busy with FYP to go myself. After the results of the US were out, they went back to return the blessings. I totally appreciate that.
2. I asked wj if he minded if I would have to go for surgery. He said, there are 3 males in his family, so it would be fine even if we never ever have kids. He will not leave me for anything.
3. My mum appeared totally strong in front of me, but I could tell she was worried sick. She cheered me up and told me it would all be fine.
4. My grandma scolded me for eating nonsense crappy food everyday and asked me to go to her place for dinner everyday from now on even though she had stopped cooking for the family since the passing of my granddad.
5. Jl, for offering me advise (I know I sound totally idiotic.. haha paiseh). Giving me assurance and guidance.

Its dumb I guess.. u can laugh at me for being paranoid.. but when its u who's facing something like that, the feeling is totally different.

And coupled to that fact, my stomach flu is still raging in my system. Horrible. Making me feel totally weak. And so today, I made my third visit do a doc. This time, its the usual GP I go to (he wasn't available on Sunday, when I visited the other GP). It turns out that I have some allergy or something, so thats why my flu isn't going away. And its making me feel totally horrible and lethargic everyday.

Haha does the above sound comprehensible? Typed it in a total state of delirium and lethargy.

P/S: Benazir Bhutto was assasinated. I can't believe how blatant these criminals are. I would blame Musharraf. He's totally scary. Blog more tmr. Need some rest. Ciaoz.

2007-12-24T08:35:00.001-08:00

Hehe in case u guys missed this.. Wj has very kindly scanned this in for me. But arh, many others have also not so kindly informed me that I look FAT in this picture (kns).. even my grandma. Haiz. But its ok... the focus is on the news! (But Wj obviously thinks otherwise cos he didn't scan the news part in =.=) So anyway, yup. It was last last saturday if u guys caught it. Otherwise, never mind. Hehe.. just a wee bit of narcissism on my part.. tho I didn't really contribute much =.= the real credit goes to my mentor and the rest of the lab.

YUP! So people, here it is.. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Enjoy your day and have many happy returns!!!!!

2007-12-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

Some randoms....

On fashion:
Was just watching this Taiwanese fashion program on cable. The host was cruising around HK, going to Anna Sui, Juicy Couture etc... a lot of brands that are totally desirable but also totally unattainable in Singapore. Yea like Playboy, Juicy Couture. The Anna Sui flagship there (no Anna Sui flagship that I've heard of in Singapore yet) carried all these totally cute accessories... omg! Salivating. Was just wondering why these brands chose to start flagships in places like HK and Taipei but not the fashion capital of Asia, Japan.

I was suddenly reminded of something this Japanese told me once.. in Japan, there are so many fashion outlets. They are mostly Japanese labels, or big luxury labels like LV and Prada etc. Pop culture fashion labels from the west rarely catch on in Japan. They haven't even heard of Armani, much less Esprit and Mango. Gap is an exception ( I dunno why). Hmm.. weird huh. So this is just totally random.

On Science:
I was just thinking.. most people in this world work for money. Bankers, investors.. etc. But there are some exceptions. And these people are the people who truly enjoy what they are doing, truly enjoy their work. Scientists fall into this league. They can work long hours, and yes, they do complain, but they will still stick it out. There are some who cannot take the toll and leave the profession, but the majority who start science as a career, stay.

I was just looking at my lab. The PI is not here 90% of the time. He's a visiting scientist with another lab in Germany. A rather prominent scientist at that. So usually, when the boss isn't here, what do people do? They slack. Start work late, leave early, take long long coffee breaks. That's what you would expect right? No way! In fact, the people here work so hard, they work like slaves, only, they are their own slave drivers. They stick to the 8.30am arrival time, and leave the lab usually later than 6. Most of them. Some come back during holidays and weekends to finish up their work. No OT pay, no boss around to see them work, no pay rise for working extra, no nothing. Heck, the boss doesn't even keep watch on them! But when someone enjoys her work, she works with passion, she works with drive. I see both passion and drive in the lab. Nope. No politics at all. That is why, I totally love the lab. I totally love the job.

But today, I'm disheartened, once again. By a Reuters report. I remember, just the other day I was excitedly telling Wj and Sq about this very very prominent stem cell scientist who happen to be in my institute. The scientist who cloned Dolly. Today, I learned that he was leaving. Leaving Singapore, to go home to Britain. In my own lab, 3 amazing Germans scientists have left. I wonder about the future of Singapore's Biotech Venture...

Bio-tech
Suffers another blow
Britain’s Dolly-creator is latest of three scientists to leave. Reuters.
Dec16, 2007

By Daryl Loo
British scientist Alan Colman, who helped clone Dolly the sheep, is leaving Singapore, dealing another blow to the city-state's biotech ambitions.

Stem cell scientist Colman, who had been lured to the city-state with grants and research facilities, now heads a Singapore consortium in stem cell research.

He will leave next May for the Stem Cell Centre at King's College London, the city-state's Agency for Science, Technology and Research said in a statement.

The latest move follows news in September that two other top British scientists, David and Birgitte Lane, will also leave next year, giving weight to the World Bank's criticism that Singapore's biotech drive was overly reliant on "footloose" scientists who could leave at short notice.

Over the last five years, Singapore has ploughed more than S$3b into its biomedical sector, spending generously on start-ups, new labs and on luring top scientists such as Colman and the Lanes from the US and Europe.

Colman, who came to Singapore in 2002, told Reuters in a separate email that he will be dividing his time between Singapore and London, spending about a quarter of his time in Singapore.

"There will be scientific benefits to Singapore, I believe, from my move to London," he told Reuters.

But that argument cut no ice with the most outspoken critic of Singapore's biomedical policy: Lee Wei Ling, whose father Lee Kuan Yew founded modern Singapore and whose brother Lee Hsien Loong now runs the country as prime minister.

"How can you run research in Singapore on one-third or one-quarter of your time? You must be extremely efficient or not involved enough and so are not worth the money," Lee told Reuters.

‘No significant results’

Lee, a paediatrician who heads the National Neuroscience Institute, said that it was an inevitable that foreign researchers "will go where there's money available" as more Western universities raise funding for biomedical research.

She had earlier called for a reassessment of Singapore's biotech strategy. She said that billions of dollars have been spent without achieving significant results.

"I stand by my earlier statements. The reason I spoke out was because I thought what was going on was very wrong, and I just hope my message sinks home with the policy makers," Lee said.

Lee, 52, lives with her father Lee Kuan Yew, who still holds an influential position in his son's cabinet with the title of "Minister Mentor".

"I'm speaking out as "citizen Lee", not as MM's daughter, or PM's sister, but as someone very close to the ground when it comes to research, so I know what's relevant," Lee said.

Asked if there were concerns about the growing exodus of foreign scientists, A*STAR Chairman Lim Chuan Poh told Reuters in an email:

"We have always taken a pragmatic and flexible approach towards the hiring of top foreign scientists. The main focus is to find arrangements that enable them to be engaged in Singapore in a meaningful and impactful way."
Reuters

2007-12-17T08:19:00.000-08:00

Interesting comic strip.. hehe biology students, especially SK2, would probably appreciate this wahaha!

Also read this interesting article online. Just gonna copy the header so u guys get enticed to go to the site n read it.. but too lazy to copy the entire article here..

Here goes:

8 Fairy Tales And Their Not-So-Happy Endings

You might have noticed from an earlier post that I’m a bit of a Disney buff. This is kind of out of character for me, to be honest, because I’m not a huge fan of happily ever after. I like movie endings that are unexpected. After doing a little research, though, I realized that maybe fairy tales and I are a perfect match: those Disney endings where the prince and the princess end up blissfully married don’t really happen in the original stories. To make sure kids go home happy, not horrified, Disney usually has to alter the endings. Read on for the original endings to a couple of Disney classics (and some more obscure tales).

Get the full story!

2007-12-16T07:19:00.000-08:00

Just read this interesting article... a really touching story...

Man Carves Wife a 6,000 Stair Path in Mountain

A weird love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world. It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half century.

Over 50 years ago, Liu, was a 19 years-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu. At the time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.

To avoid the market gossips, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing area.

In the beginning, they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to lighten up their lives.

Started the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began, and continue for over 50 years, to hand carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

A half century later in 2001, a group of adventures were exploring the forest, they surprisingly found the elderly couple and the over 6,000 stairs of hand carved ladder.

“My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day.” Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, “He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother’s convenience, although she doesn’t go down the mountain that much.”

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years-old, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms.

So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife’s hand even after he had passed away.

“You promised me you’ll take care of me, you’ll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?” … …

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband’s black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story had became one of the top 10 love stories from China, collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the “love ladder” and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

Makes one marvel at the love they must share. Wonder if there will be stories like that in Singapore today. Or in general, in the world today.

2007-12-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

Sucks.. something is wrong with the bluetooth upload thing on this com.. or maybe its incompatible with my new phone.. sian... cant upload the pics into the com!

So anyway today, something really interesting happened (if only i could upload the pics! Sigh).

So I was @ Breadtalk, wanting to buy the new Christmas series of bread. I saw the snowman and thought it was absolutely cute! Wanted to buy it. Took a pair of tongs and while taking the bread out of the display, accidentally knocked the chocolate hat of Mr Snowman off him and onto the floor! This teenage boy who was beside me saw it and started giggling like a schoolgirl. Never mind cos I found it funny too and laughed along with him.

Then I was going to pay for it anyway right.. so I put the hat and Mr Snowman onto the tray and proceeded to the counter. At the counter, the cashier took one look.. and before I could shout at her to stop, swiftly put the dirty chocolate hat back onto Mr Snowman. SIGH! Now the head is dirty too! Never mind. So I took it off again and told her, "I dropped it. So I don't want this hat anymore." She stared at me, then nodded and proceeded with the payment.

Then while packing Mr Snowman, she put him into the plastic bag.... and then stared at the chocolate hat... and looked at me.. then very quickly she put the DIRTY hat into the plastic bag with my CLEAN Mr Snowman! The hat started rolling around in the plastic bag... dirtying Mr Snowman even more! WAH LAUUU!!!!! At that moment I really felt like screaming at her and asking her to replace it with a new one! SERIOUSLY! Which part of the statement I made earlier does she not understand?! Why the hell would I take off the hat for no reason at all?! MY GOD!!! What is wrong with the employees of Breadtalk!

I told my mum abt this incident... and after laughing her head off, she suggested maybe the cashier doesn't understand English? Oh well... this is Singapore! She jolly well understand English if she's about to serve Singaporeans man.. not all Singaporeans are Chinese or understand Mandarin!

Hmm ehh shit... juz realized my past few posts all quite scary posts sia... sound like some madwoman raving away. Hahahaha... ok well.... maybe its the stress... losing a lot of hair due to stress again! ARGHHH never mind!!! Will be going for a short wkend getaway to Desaru with the family starting tomorrow!!! Time for some relaxing (I hope). Hope I come back recharged!

2007-12-10T05:16:00.000-08:00

Feeling goddamn fed up and frustrated right now.

Feeling the weight of tons of things on my shoulders, with more people desperate to add more weight rather than lighten the load for me. Quietly doing things handed to me and not complaining when just totally random things are being arrowed to me for no other reason than me being assigned a job I never really wanted to accept. All that doesn't mean I am good to bully. It just means I don't want to kick up a fuss cos I wanna get a job done quickly.

I mean, I totally love my groupmates (most of them), and so many of them worked so hard just so we could get a fantastic presentation done. Kudos to them. I'm totally grateful. And most of them I can click well with. Its like, you sometimes just wish you could have gotten to know these people better much earlier in your school life. But there are some (or just 1 maybe) u really do not know what to make of them. They do their job well, they do not slack, most of the time. But then sometimes they just get so much in the way of the progress of a discussion you really have to struggle to check your temper or just pull your hair out and scream. Or when they really do not want to do a certain job so they keep arrowing it to others.

I thought... well fine. Can't blame these people cos they really did their work. Good job well done. So I told myself, do not be biased. They do not mean it. Focus on the things they've done for the group.

But this has gotta be the last straw. I can't believe this. Just 1 email. This person offered a suggestion and I told this person to email the whole group cos I am not totally sure what this person is suggesting. And I made the mistake of telling this person something I heard about some of the information this person sent us previously, that it would be advisable not to use that information. The end result is me being totally misquoted to sound like a horrible demanding boss in the email. My god. Totally made to sound like this person is a victim, and that I made this person to do stuff my way. When I totally did not say the things this person alleged.

Just being totally disgusted. There are all kinds of people in this world. This person is just one who will push the blame to anyone else available so no blame falls upon this person.

Groupmates who happen to chance upon this blog, do not fret. I'm 99% sure you are not the person I am referring to. As for others who might wanna say something mean about me and how bitchy this entry sounds, I will warn u not to. I am not exactly in the best of moods right now. If you r a friend, either leave me alone or be aunt agony. If you are not, screw off. Right now I can't take much more shit. Gonna explode soon. Too much crap thrown my way in the past few days. arghhh..

2007-12-07T23:28:00.000-08:00

Finally done with the Entrepreneurship course.

Kudos to my groupmates! Everything went well. No glitches and all. The only thing I'm worried about is the coach's reaction. Duno if what we've done is what he expects. Pretty low class average I would say. He's stricter than he acts. Disgusting.

Anyway, this experience made me all the more convinced about how the school admin simply SUCKS. Freaking hell SUCKS.

My groupmate Jiamin and I were trying to book CR1 for filming our presentation. It would be after office hours (cos we were only free after 5+ or 6 even). When we went to the office, there were 2 staff there who were in charge. Both had the same name. One was older, one was younger (I think you guys should know who I'm talking about). The older one talked to us. We told her our request, and she started to come up with all sorts of excuses, like how we need to let her know earlier, and how the room was being booked for a certain function etc. Firstly, our course was only a week long. How far could we have planned in advance and let her know?! 2ndly, the function she mentioned was held in CR1 was actually held in CR2! When Jiamin pointed that out, she said they shifted to CR1. Then when we went to CR1 to check it was totally empty!

The most disgusting lie was when she told us she couldn't let us use the room for our own good.. because after a certain time the aircon gets turned off and the access card reader is also locked so she was afraid we would get locked inside. Bullshit! Firstly, the aircon did not get turned off, secondly the access card reader was OUTSIDE the CR. Its only possible for us to get locked OUT and not locked IN. Inside we don't even need an access card to get out! Total crap.

Then finally, she told us it wasn't under her jurisdiction and she handed over the matter to the younger one with the same name. The younger one was a TOTAL BITCH. Knowing full well Jiamin was still standing there, she basically shouted, from behind the screen that blocked her from Jiamin, "叫她走.. 跟她讲没有这种事的 hor." Cutting the older one totally off. Totally rude and disgusting. Just made me recall how she replied my email with one whole sentence fully in CAPS. HEY mind you! We are the ones paying your salary! Can you please treat us BETTER?!

Feel like complaining to Lars. Or someone. But then she vets all his emails! Damn.

Totally do not understand how the STUPID NTU administration can be SO DAMN inflexible! Total crap.

Anyone thinking of going to NTU SBS who chances on this blog.. THINK TWICE. Coming from someone in her final year who's about to graduate, if you enter, be prepared for a whole lot of crap from the admin!

2007-12-03T06:21:00.000-08:00

Siau Lin sent me this email.. I find this personality test interesting cos its friggin accurate!

Which Haunted Room will You Choose?

One day, you get lost in the wilderness while traveling.. It gets dark and you have no choice but to seek refuge
in a small hut nearby. The owner tells you all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose?
(it is going to be very interesting.. ha ha haha)

The room where:

Room (A)
- a human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window

Room (B)
- the bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing

Room (C)
- the bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it

Room (D)
- a headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle of the night

MAKE ONE COMFORTABLE (?!) CHOICE BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN FOR THE EXPLANATION.
IT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING ANSWER.........

Scroll down for explanation.

A) A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window.
Explanation: You need a lot of private space and are more suitable to work alone. You look for stability
i.e. a job that is not easily affected by external factors and provides steady income.
E.g. Doctor, lawyer, SOHO, teacher, administrator.

B) The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing.
Explanation: You prefer a stable job that does not require you to run around or meet people. You are
willing to be subjected to pressure from your bosses if that lets you sit in an air-conditioned office all day.
E.g. Civil servant, engineer, computer engineer, accountant.

C) The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it.
Explanation: You are an active person who cannot sit still and does not like to be restrained.. You are
easily adaptable to a job which is full of changes and not routine.
E.g. Marketing, insurance, sales, delivery man, chauffer.

D) A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle of the night.
Explanation: You suit jobs that need you to meet people, especially large crowds. Your job will depend
on these people, but you will not know who they are
E.g. superstar, politician, PR, counter/frontline sales.

I chose C. What about u? Yea I know.. I cannot sit still and I do not like to be restrained.. hahahaha

2007-11-30T07:21:00.000-08:00

Yoohoo!

Papers over. Was gonna blog some depressing stuff on tues cos felt upset abt tons of things... glad I got too lazy to do it cos I dont want the whole world to feel upset with me. Heh.

From Tues night to Fri went Genting and KL!!!! YAY! Finally... a short getaway to relax n shop. Sigh.. tmr entrepreneurship starting.. then after that FYP starting.. life sucks.

This is juz a short update to let pple know I'm alive.. will do a longer one with some long overdue pics in my phone asap! Hopefully tmr! Do check back!

Cya!

2007-11-18T07:30:00.000-08:00

Just saw a doctor!!!! Like, finally. Didn't go see a doctor the past week cos its like what Fish would call an in-between-fever thing... its neither here nor there... I feel totally lethargic but yet no real symptoms appeared except for the occasional cough or sneeze so its weird going to a doc n say, "Look doc, I'm sick but I duno why." Right? So yesterday, it was really bad. I had this diarrhea that won't stop. U know, I would probably describe it as 'torrential'. As in torrential urine. But I didn't go to the doctor.. cos I duno.. woke up late, had a movie date at night... juz no time. So this morning I decided hey.. I REALLY need to see the doc. So yup I did.

And when I told my dad my decision, he was like, "FINALLY." Oh well... yea.

Then when the doc saw me, he asked me what was wrong, and I told him I had a sore throat, diarrhea, flu-ish symptoms like nose block etc... and he took this torch and shone it into my mouth.. and he had this shocked look on his face as he exclaimed, "OH!" Shit man... nearly wet my pants when I saw tt. I start expecting the worse.........

And then he said...........

"There's a HUGE ulcer on ur throat! Go take the torch n look in the mirror!" (CHEY!) And so I went... and WOW! Now I know why he looked so shocked. Damnit... totally monstrous looking.

Then the doc said, "I would have to clean it up for you." And then he proceeded to go to the minifridge in the room and took out this bottle holding this vile looking liquid.. (wayyy too calmly......) n next he took a cotton stick (that thing with a mini cotton bud thingee at both ends) n dipped it in. Me starts to panick. He continued, "Its gonna hurt." Oh that really made me feel better. Thanks.

So doc holds the cotton stick menacingly in one hand and force my mouth open with the other and the started scraping the ulcer. #@$#@#@@@%!!!!!!! Too bad I couldn't cuss cos my tongue was stuck under the stick. After what seemed like a zillion years, he calmly asked, "Do you feel like vomiting? No? OK now go spit out ur saliva in the sink." And I did.. and I thought that was it... until......

He proceeded with ROUND TWO! Scrape scrape scrape. Me no wuss. Me wont cry. #$@#$@!!! BUT its REALLY PAINFUL! My god..

And he proceeded with rounds 3 and 4 and forever more until I finally made this puking noise and he said, "Feel like vomiting already? Ok I'll stop." Shit man.. are all doctors this sadistic? Haiz... me poor throat...

After I finally recovered from the pain, I mustered up enough energy to ask him, "So is everything related? This ulcer, this diarrhea, this flu?"

Yup apparently. So I figured.. gotta be bacteria infection.. cos few viruses if any cause ulcers. And Wj hypothesized tt I probably got the diarrhea cos of the toxins produced by the bacteria causing the ulcer, cos its in the throat so whenever I swallow, the toxins will travel to my intestines. Oh cool! We're biogeeks!

And so when I went home I wiki-ed the meds the doc gave. Most sounded familiar.. cos of pharmaco. There was pseudoephedrine, prednisolone (immunosuppressant) and norfloxacin. Norfloxacin is an antibiotic used to treat urinary tract infections apparently... wow! I think I got a chlamydia infection!! But I dunno how everything is linked together.. hmm... still trying to figure it out... urinary tract infection-ulcer-diarrhea-flu-fever... haiz.. doesnt make sense leh... hmm... haiya headache headache..

Hehe.. never mind... finally saw the doc.. remained really lethargic today.. but at least hope the situation will improve soon~!!!

Strange.. I started out this entry meaning to type something really bitchy... but then lost interest when I started typing. The doc experience seemed more exciting. The bitchy thing will wait till next entry then.. ciaoz people~~~~~~~ ♥

2007-11-16T22:21:00.000-08:00

AHHH VIRO SUCKS!!!!! The big fat 阴脏人 sucks!

What the hell is RUSSIAN INFLUENZA! Tamade... its bloody SPANISH FLU LA! Freakin hell.

Took so much time to memorize all the infection processes and cap-snatching shit... when that came up is that kinda CRAP! My god.. Its seriously a waste of my freakin time!

Argh PUIIII!!!!

Flu has progressed to become stomach flu. Hmm.... enterotoxins attacking my system. Isit MRSA? Or... Clostridium Perfringens? Or? Hmm.. I've got pharyngitis too... could it be.... Streptococcus Pyogenes? But those are bacteria! Hmm... so... is it a normal influenza virus wreaking havoc on my system? Hmm.. apparently there's now a new strain of very virulent adenovirus in the US or UK now. AHH!!! Could it be that I'm infected with that?!

OK I'm getting paranoid.. wahaha... to non-bio students (and non viro/microbio students) that must be so not funny.. hehe....

2 MORE PAPERS TO GO!!!!!

2007-11-12T07:41:00.000-08:00

Feeling crappy.

Feeling sick. Loads of stuff to study for so can't rest. Can't study well cos brain is groggy and body feels lethargic all the time. Disgusting shit.

Mum ain't home to take care of me. And for some weird reason I can't comprehend, I can't seem to take care of myself after 22 yrs of learning under my mama. Dad is trying his best to play mama. Asking me if I wanna eat when I totally have no appetite, offering me bread, offering to cook noodles or buy food back for me, but the only thing I had him buy was coffee. Really had no appetite. Plus I needed to coffee to force my mind to clear up and wake up. Its not that I'm a spoilt brat. But just when you're feeling so sick, you suddenly wish for mama beside you. Especially when its a crucial period. (LAST EXAMS OF MY LIFE!)

My brother? He's always in his room blasting music. Either that or he's being a couch potato. Either that or he's eating lunch/dinner/whatever. Basically being a parasite.

Wj is busy with his own work. He's trying his best, checking on me whenever he's free, in between classes, on his way home, halfway through his lab report etc. But he's super busy.

And I feel more alone than ever. Sick and lonely. Crap. Still gotta force me poor overworked brain to work harder. Damnit. Exams suck.

2007-11-10T08:36:00.000-08:00

Recently this column on Yahoo news caught my eye...

The Dear Margo column.

Some of the more interesting letters she received and replied:

Say Cheese . . . But Keep Your Clothes On

Thu Nov 8, 2:00 AM ET

DEAR MARGO: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. We parted on good terms and remain friends. Once, when we were intimate, we captured ourselves on film, with the understanding that the pictures would be promptly deleted. He assured me he had done this. Occasionally, when he goes away on business trips, I'll check on his house and cat for him. I've done this for years . . . checked his mail, fed the cat. Recently, I don't know what compelled me, but I began to search specifically for those photos. I found them, along with others (not me). I was hurt, shocked, mad -- everything at once.

I have not told him I know about them, and I actually left them as I found them. I'm torn between taking them and destroying them, or leaving them and pretending I didn't see them. I don't want him to feel I violated his privacy, yet I definitely want them gone and I'd like to tell him where they went. I'm afraid to have them around, and the agreement was that they would be destroyed.

What's the right thing to do?

--- CHAGRINED AND DISAPPOINTED

DEAR CHAG: He broke his word to you, therefore you may remove the pictures from his stash with a clear conscience. There is no need for an announcement, either. If he is in the habit of looking at these, uh, keepsakes, he will know immediately where they went, and why.

For any qualms you might have, look at the situation as your personal, pictorial version of copyright law. Just consider that you own your own image and reclaimed it because he proved himself untrustworthy. The worst that can happen is that you won't get to feed the cat.

--- MARGO, ACCEPTABLY

Better Late Than Never

Fri Nov 9, 2:00 AM ET

DEAR MARGO: I met "Tom" in college, and we were great friends. We got drunk on a Friday night, and nine months later we had a daughter. We have remained friendly and civil to one another for our daughter's sake. The problem is that my feelings are deeper. He is living with a woman in another state. I wish I could be happy for him, but I can't. I don't know if I should tell him how I feel. Our daughter is 2 years old, and we were only together that one night, but I'm in love with him. His current relationship is, in his own words, "rocky." I just don't want there to be any weirdness between us if he doesn't feel anything for me.

Should I take that chance? Please help.

--- LOST IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOST: I would take the chance. If he is not on your wavelength, there would be no "weirdness," just a flattered "no, thank you." I suggest you broach the idea with him not by suggesting he dump the rocky relationship and set up housekeeping with you, but rather introduce the subject as a concerned friend.

Perhaps start the dialogue by saying you are sorry his current situation is not working, and you have an idea: because you share a child and were such wonderful friends in college, it might be worth a try to spend some time together and see if, as more mature people, you could in fact be a couple.

The experimental approach would spare you from any declarations of love, and if he declines, you are not so far out on a limb. Good luck.

--- MARGO, PURPOSEFULLY

And this must be the ultimate...

Kind of Like Unofficial Polygamy

Thu Nov 1, 2:00 AM ET

DEAR MARGO: I am a very happily married woman with a problem: well-intentioned friends and family. My husband and I are polyamorous and not ashamed of it. We have wonderful girlfriends who are special and a part of our family. The problem is that people assume we are on the verge of divorce, etc. Other than an indelicate "Butt out," is there any way to get them to see that we are really happy and stable? We've been married for five years.

--- HAPPILY POLY

(For square readers like me who might need a trip to the dictionary, I will save you some time. "Polyamorous" is the name for multiple sexual relationships within marriage -- in this case involving both spouses.)

DEAR HAP: You may not be ashamed of it, but you have to know that this arrangement would strike most people as being somewhere between odd and morally wrong, it being quite far from the norm. I am not sure why you felt the need to breeze it around that you and your husband have "wonderful girlfriends."

Because you have, however, essentially invited people to "butt in," you are a little bit stuck in terms of asking them to butt out. I guess the only way to prove yourselves happy and stable is for you two to continue to thrive with your, uh, wonderful girlfriends.

--- MARGO, BEWILDEREDLY

2007-11-09T21:33:00.000-08:00

http://www.reuters.com/news/pictures/slideshow?collectionId=1272

I wonder what he would feel if these were his kids, or if he were the one sending his kids off to war. Its just sad. Like what Fish says, him visiting them can't give them their legs or hands or eyesight back. What kind of lives will these previously strong young men lead after this?

2007-11-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

A particularly interesting and inspiring piece of writing I got off the internet... written by a doctor. For my friends, doctors-to-be especially. Take some time to read this. There is much to learn from this wonderful article.

What we learn from the dying.

A tab morbid the headlines might be, take time to read it. You will benefit greatly.

2007-11-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

Tried blogging a few times, but there's really nothing going on in my life right now. Whenever I click the 'new post' thing, I will run thru the things I did in the day but nothing worth mentioning comes up. Sian. Then I will think of awe-inspiring things to write, but oso nothing comes up. Double sian. Not that that should come as a surprise tho. But anyways. So I turn to web-browsing to see if there were anything else to post. But the world in general has been pretty boring. So well.

Yup so we had that muscle bio quiz on Monday. It was ok.. I really hope the exams will be that straightforward. Hehe.. Now crunch time.... for the exams! Hopefully, the last one in my life!!!!! But then again not so hopefully too... cos I wanna go to graduate school leh.. haiz.. but never mind.

Anyways, someone made me a little upset today. So guess what he did to make up to me??

Wahaha as much as I would love to stay upset, this thing is DAMN CUTE LA! Ok you're forgiven.

K shall leave u guys with that for now... maybe cya again... after the exams!!!!! WOOT!!! Counting down!!!!

2007-11-01T22:26:00.000-07:00

Updates on the trishaw uncle yesterday...

This issue has apparently caused an uproar in the UK too. Read the comments here and here. Omy.sg did an interview with the uncle, which very nearly moved me to tears. The strength and resilience of this elderly, who continues to earn his keep in the only way he knows how to, despite the hardships, and enjoys his days come what may. It just highlights the contrast with the 3 British brats.

Its sad that our country has people like that, and its sad that our country is unable to take care of its old. I would never ever let anybody bully my parents or grandmother this way, and I can't imagine how the daughter and son of the old man must have felt after seeing the youtube clip. Its just sad that we can't do more to help people like him. It just pains me to see how he has to toil to earn just $20-$30 a day, on good days, at his age. We need change.

For now, however, the only way I will feel better is if these 3 bastards are hauled back to Singapore and beg for forgiveness from the old trishaw rider. If they can survive the fury of Singaporeans before they get to meet the old man that is.

2007-11-01T00:22:00.000-07:00

Saw this on Tomorrow.sg. Apparently it was in the news a few days ago but as I'm now trying hard to attain PR status of the Diamond, I haven't had much time to watch the news at home.

This shit is disgusting. I can't believe what these heartless brats did. Don't they feel ashamed of themselves? Instead of feeling sorry for a senior citizen who has to make his living this way, they did this to him. "No we're not bullies. We're just being insensitive." Ohh FUCK IT. Save your shitty reasonings.

And this is why I totally can't stand ang mohs (sorry Nikolay.. not you. Just these horribly brought up assholes). There is something that is terribly wrong with their whole society. And I totally don't understand why some SPGs fawn over them and treat them like royalty. Check out this ridiculous comment on the Youtube page left by someone who calls herself (I'm betting a million its a girl) 'outrageousFeme':

To these 3 guys. OMG! u guys are hot BUT ur HEARTLESS!!! I have no idea why u hv to make fun of this poor old man. sO SHAMEULL of u! He earns a living dude! imagine if u hv to earn a living like tiz & ppl refused to pay. Dont blame us if we DISRESPECT & wont accept ur apology. Moreover, ur apology is extremely simple. Defenitely can't compare the tiredness & the anger of tz oldman. What a waste. U do nt hv the inner beautie even if u look like brad pitt.

I can't imagine the whole point of having to add the "OMG! u guys are HOT!" And the "even if u look like brad pitt." HA HA. And no way they're NOT HOT. And they most definitely do NOT look like Brad Pitt. Com'on. Get a life. Deprived bimbo.

Sorry. I'm pissed.

2007-10-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

This is friggin funny....

about the A380.

No Sex, Please, We're Singaporean

Sex Not Allowed in Airbus A380 Double Bed Suites

Even though Singapore Airlines has equipped its new A380 jets with private double bed suites, company officials are saying you'd better not do the bouncy bouncy in there or you'll meet with their stern disapproval. What are they going to do? Throw you off the plane? The first couple to book one of the double suites wasn't too impressed with the airline's prudish demeanor.

"So they'll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne -- and then say you can't do what comes naturally?" asked Tony Elwood, a 76-year-old passenger who booked the suite with his wife, Julie. "Seems a bit strange."

Let's not forget that Singapore Airlines is based in a country which still deems it okay to smack people with a rattan cane for even the slightest transgression, so you'd better keep that johnson in your pants, big boy. "There are things that are acceptable on an aircraft and things that aren't, and the rules for behaviour in our double beds are the same ones that apply throughout the aircraft," proclaims Stephen Forshaw, a Singapore Airlines official. He warns, "If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist."

Since the doors close on the suites, how on earth are Singapore Airlines flight attendants going to know who is engaging in the old in/out and who isn't? It's always so noisy in aircraft anyway, you could be screaming to high heaven and no one would ever know.

We're thinking one of the most difficult temptations to resist aboard a Singapore Airlines double-bed flight is avoiding asking one of those gorgeous flight attendants, known as "the Singapore Girls," to join us inside the comfy suite. But then, for the $14,320 price for two tickets in one of the suites, we'd hope a good swift caning would be included in the ticket price. [Times Online, via Fleshbot (NSFW)]

~~Now now... wonder why our birth rates are declining so eh... hehe

2007-10-30T02:14:00.000-07:00

Someone up above seems to be testing my patience.

First my GRE results got lost in the mail (and hasn't arrived even now), then my AGS application too. Somewhere. And lots of problems met during the application processes... feel totally defeated sometimes. Grateful to have friends around who help give suggestions for the applications and graduate school and to wj for helping me out with the application processes.

UBER BUSY! What with the loads of other applications to consider and the impending muscle bio quiz and the LOOMING FINALS. After that its entrepreneurship course and then FYP. Darn.. there's totally no time for rest. I can't believe I haven't taken a proper break since the december hols in my 2nd year. Its getting tiring. When will I ever get a break from all these? I'm running out of steam soon. Hope the workload will at least lighten before FYP starts.. but looking at how friends have toiled for the entrepreneurship course, I doubt so.

I guess I'm running on a short fuse these days, picking on nitty gritty stuff. Driving people around me crazy sometimes. Forgive me my friends! Waiting for the finals to finish before daddy can buy me Wii and hopefully a short getaway to some place outside Singapore to relax a little!

2007-10-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

Fish asked me to blog about this, but being the lazy me, I shall oblige, but will only copy and paste what he's blogged to my blog. Hehe... So anyways...

THE CHALLENGE.....

WEILIANG gave me a challenge today. He wanted to see who can draw the best looking polar bear. So I accepted..

This is my contribution to the challenge:

Kahsuan, who was intrigued by the challenge, joined in and this is her contribution.

As for the instigator:

I shall bite my tongue and refrain from commenting. Can't stop laughing though.....

Hehehehe.... Weiliang got pwned! Wahaha!

Immune quiz over.. sucks like hell.. damn! Gotta work hard for finals. A bit too slack lately... damn...

This wkend is a bit packed tho... went out the whole of today. Someone went for a Samsung torch relay challenge and I went to give moral support. Thankfully he only lasted an hr and a half.. hehe.. had time to go back and rest before meeting the yearmates!!!! Juz jk.. it was a good one tho... top 30%!!! GOOD JOB!

So anyways, met the yearmates at night at this jap place at Marina square... Waraku. Really not bad! The grp of 8 of us waited more than an hr for a table!!! WAH!!!! There are some pics but will wait for others to post them! Hehe... Can't believe it.. its almost our 10 yr anniversary!!!! Come January, it would have been 10 yrs since we first got to know each other!!!! WATS UP!!!!! LETS HAVE A PARTAYYYY!!!! CHEERS TO A DECADE OLD FRIENDSHIP!!!!!

So we were all chatting and someone mentioned this blog post about RGS girls and their feministic characters that Weewee sent us.. After looking at it I was like, omg HOW TRUE! I mean, of cos its an exaggeration. But it is indeed a trait that the school has instilled in us.. even though we have of cos since mellowed a lot after graduation. But even know, at least for myself, I can't stand MCPs. Like, totally. And generally RG girls are just a lot more independent than other girls. So I think this really relates to us. Wahaha... what do u guys think?? There's another post in the same blog that talks about 'The Evil SCGS Girl'. Wonder if it relates to the typical SCGS girl too? Hmm...

2007-10-20T06:42:00.000-07:00

Tip for girls:

After getting a boyfriend, I find myself being taught and learning new things about guys every day. Especially how proud they are of and how they love to joke about their manhood in front of girls, maybe that is their way of flaunting it and showing off their manliness, and they absolutely love it when girls get flustered or are at a total loss and dunno how to react. Sometimes they will go to the trouble of explaining everything, sometimes using wikipedia, just so they can get a cheap thrill from your reaction.

But you know what? Start talking about tampons and sanitary pads and periods and bikini waxes in front of them, and watch them turn green and later, white, with that horrified expressions on their faces, sometimes disbelief (my god you are not supposed to be talking about this in front of me, its disgusting!) and start mumbling and talking incoherently and finally just make some lame excuse and walk away.

WAHAHA! I find it pretty cute. Try it sometimes girls!

2007-10-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

Quote of the week:

"You guys are a little more chirpy today. You know what chirpy is? Birds chirp."

GREAT! He's downgraded us from the rank of his 9-year-old son to the rank of birds now. I wonder what's more to come?

2007-10-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

K let me explain why I'm doing this post. I seldom blog about stuff like that cos I will be disgusted with myself. But allow me to do it this once. Cos I need to satisfy the curiosity of those busybodies. HAHA.

Yes this is our first attempt at taking pictures. Well actually no. But the first time we tried, someone found his face too ugly and decided to delete the pictures away. Nah think this one satisfactory la. Actually even if it isn't he has no say cos this time it was taken using MY PHONE! Wahaha.

I actually quite like this pose.. with my arm around his neck. You know, like those gangsta brudders? Wassup DUDE! Shit man but I think I look too demure in this pic.
This one too! Eeyer.

YES this is more like it!!! More GANGSTA! Wahaha! Btw cos he likes to make stupid expressions like that he has more wrinkles than Andy Lau.

"Oii why u always bully me!!!" WAHAHA

Flowers. First time I got decent flowers from him. And also the last time. At least till now.
The 2nd time he gave me flowers... haiz.. better not let anyone else know hor.. how the flower (yes juz a single rose) was like.

Luckily he still knows what kinda chocolate I like! This can be found in Singapore. The smaller type that cannot be found he got his friend to bring back from the States for me! YUM! But didn't take photos. Haha.

Rocher bouquet! But not from him. From the lab people!!! Took me damn long to realize I haven't posted this before. Haha!

Oh actually there are quite a few things I haven't taken pictures of. Like the gift for the 1st n 2nd month anniversaries, but arh.. I think should spare the readers of this entry la.. Haha.

Oh we have our ups and downs, but currently everything is going well. Though I seldom talk about him in this blog, cos I think a blog gets boring if its all lovey dovey... OKOK fine..... actually its juz to whet the appetite of my readers... cos with great surprise, I find that quite a lot of people are actually rather curious about my love life! Weird leh! Hehe. Now I feel like those hollywood superstar, being followed by tons of paparazzis!!!! Wahaha!

So well, for now, this is it. Curious about the life of Ms KS Lim? TUNE INTO THE NEXT EPISODE OF "ONE DAY IN THE LIFE OF KS"! Hehehehe

2007-10-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

Kopped this pic from Xyz's blog. Ya finally NTU & SBS are really coming up with a proper solution to the horrible lines waiting for 179 every morning during rush hour. And the system is really goddamn efficient I tell u! Seriously... its either they don't do a thing or once they do something they go all the way to impress... my god.. why did they only start doing this in my very last semester in NTU?! Especially when its after my TCM, when I don't even have to squeeze with the rush hour crowd anymore?! ARGHHH

Anyway, why did i say its super impressive? Cos now they have 2 lines at the bus terminal, one for 179 and one for 179A. 179A goes straight to NTU from the interchange, bypassing all the intermediate stops. 179 still goes to NTU as well. So those people who wanna take 179 from stops after the interchange will have no problem getting up the bus. And people at the interchange will have the option of taking either 179 or 179A. But most choose 179A cos it gets to sch faster. And now they have TWO lines for 179A, 179A line 1 and 179A line 2! Last time there used to be 2 oso, but it wasn't demarcated so everything gets very messy. But now there are 2 distinct lines whenever there are 2 179As there! And thats not all... now they open BOTH doors, the front and the back one, to allow boarding of passengers!!! So now its FOUR times the speed!!!! Plus if u get fed-up with the sight of the long line, u can just choose to go take the normal 179 instead! WOW!!! Hehee..

Hmm... Anw sometimes do u guys get the feeling that u are being taken for granted? Like u can do everything for a friend. Keep trying to maintain the friendship. Truly care about the wellbeing of someone. Only to receive halfhearted replies, feel snubbed, etc. It gets sian sometimes. Tiring. Like why do so much when the other party can't even be bothered? Sigh. Truly disheartened. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

2007-10-08T05:31:00.000-07:00

Some photos!

Its been some time since I've posted photos of myself. So here goes!

TF was back a while ago, n we went back to RG for some reminiscing! (Only some representative photos here.. i.e photos that I look better in and non-candid shots!)

This is the bridge linking blocks E and D (right?) haha! Huimin, TF and I!

Say HI to Athena!!!
BTW that spear-like thing in her hands are moveable! Waaahoo! Like REALLY! I could have plucked it outta her teeny hands and used it as a weapon against JAC! HAHA

At the zebra crossing close to the mini amphi... where we always have house practice and rock climbing. Joanne, Huimin, Gillian, TF and I!

Walking up the walkway. To the front is the amphitheatre, to the right is the foyer, to the left is the hall (aka the Evelyn Norris Hall but I don't really care much abt them renaming the diff parts of the school after previous principles. I personally can't wait for the day they reach the very last classroom and then I wonder if they will start naming toilets..)

Inside the hall. Jac, Gillian, TF, Joanne, me, Huimin. The place where we always fall asleep during assembly. I tell u, its really the best place to do that! Aircon, dimmed lights, perfectly conducive environment!

At the spiral staircase. Leading to the canteen from the hall. Jac, me, TF, Huimin, Joanne.

At the carpark, in front of TF's car. First time we're driving to our secondary school. Feels a bit shiok. HAHA. Gillian, Huimin, Joanne, the very attention grabbing Jac, TF and I!

Outside home econs classroom... ex-home-econs partners me and Huimin. Hehe... she's the one who usually does the cooking of cos!

At a new installment-the benches outside this new building at the grass patch where we usually do our 1.6km run. Me, TF, Gillian, Jac, Joanne and Huimin.

Yup thats the field! Huimin, me, TF, Gillian and Joanne.
First time we've been back to school since graduation. And since they are moving in with RI soon, I guess it's a good thing.. I can't imagine a school full of white tops and white shorts/pants guys being called RGS :S

Raffles Village anyone? (Ewwww)

A very cute little girl, wearing a jungle boy hat (I think thats the Jungle Boy one).

'Heehee can u take a picture of me chieh chieh?'

Saturday:
Xiao long bao buffet at Lao Beijing! Really totally yummy yummy yummy! They had all sorts of dumplings and stuff... it was absolutely heaven!

That noodle was totally gastronomic (shuddup I know it doesn't look all that fantastic over here but just take my word for it.. its good!)... it was fried Beijing noodles with eggs and very very fresh and succulent prawns! Totally... fantastic. The other stuff on the plate are the usual onion pancake and some bell peppers I picked off the porky dish in the buffet line cos I like the bell peppers but not the pork. Haha!

And yes.. the highlight... the absolutely yummilicious and not too oily XIAO LONG BAO! If u think Crystal Jade is good, please go try Lao Beijing!!! At least the one at Tiong Bahru! WOWWEE!!! Totally heavenly!!!

I think it costs just S$15.90++ per person for the hightea buffet (cost a lot more usually trust me). The bill came up to S$60+ for 4 of us, while the last time we went with my grandma (5 of us) the bill came up to S$100+ for basically eating the same things, only maybe lesser cos it wasn't a buffet. And oh yes, get the Tung Lok card. Makes things so much cheaper!!! WHEE!!!

2007-10-07T05:55:00.000-07:00

My mum loves this ad... HAHA for those who haven't seen it on tv:

2007-10-06T23:03:00.000-07:00

Watched Shoot 'Em Up on Friday. Chose this movie cos I remembered this newspaper review giving it 4 out of 5 stars. And Yahoo movies gave it 3 out of 5 stars, whereas the rest of the new movies were given like 2 out of 5 stars, or were not watch-in-theatre movies (e.g. 色.戒).

Now I suspect all movie reviewers in Sg are males. Or testosterone-charged females. This entire movie has no plot. It sells just violence, blood, gore, sex, and yes, Monica Bellucci. If u got a thing for Italian lahdehs that is. But u gotta admit, that Italian accent, together with the voluptious figure, got even me salivating. Cute! Otherwise, everything else was juz basically crap.

*note: spoilers ahead!*

This whole movie is juz about killing all the bad guys there are, using watever's available. Guns, knives, more guns.. Makes one wonder why there are so many violent crimes in the States.

The first crappy scene came when Clive Owen had to kill this guy going after a pregnant lady. He used a carrot and pushed a knife through the back of that guy's throat. Ouch. Caught me totally unprepared. Disgusting.

Another crappy scene was when Clive Owen ran out of bullets and had to use another carrot as a weapon (he has this thing for carrots, organic ones). He killed that guy by stabbing the carrot thru the eye of the guy. Eww....

Crappy scene 3.. he was channel surfing and noticed that the baby started crying whenever he stops at this news channel where there's a politician talking and stops crying whenever he stops at this channel blasting heavy metal music. He deduced from this that the mum must have stayed near some heavy metal bar when she was pregnant. WAHAHA I duno what other bullshit they can come up with.

OH yes they topped that when Clive Owen was making out with Monica Bellucci and the bad guys came storming into the room. While Monica Bellucci was koala-bear-hugging him and still in the process of love-making and moaning (Clive Owen is one hell of a lucky guy!), he was spinning and zipping around the room as though he was a kungfu master and whipped out a gun (from where I dunno... he had his clothes off if I remember right) and started shooting. With every moan of Monica, he fires one shot. Hang on one minute.. this isn't porn I'm watching right? And FYI nope it wasn't even R21. I only found out it was M18 after getting to the door of the theatre.

The most gory of them all will have to be the scene where the bad guys were jumping out of the plane hot on the heels of Clive Owen. In the blink of an eye, somehow Clive Owen pushed them all (actually I duno wat happened exactly cos I had my eyes closed... it was too damn gory!) towards the rotor of this 'copter down below and next thing u know Clive Owen's landed safely. Thinking that must be all, I opened my eyes, only to be see this field scattered with body parts belonging to multiple people, no doubt after being chopped up by the rotor. One hand there, one body without a leg here, one without a hand there... the entire field! And Clive Owen just walks past everything looking cool and suave, not a hair out of place. Its so ridiculous its amazing.

If u must ask me, all the movie ticket pays for is probably a view of Monica's amazing boobs.

2007-10-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

I think this article here is interesting.... speaks volumes about the war in Iraq, and I guess to a certain extent, gender equality. That female soldiers can handle juz abt everything that males can. Interesting insight, the war from the viewpoint of these soldiers.

2007-10-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

YEA tcm exam is over!!!!! haiz duno how i did tho... anw this week I shall rest first!!!
And i have a lot of nice new movies to watch! YAY! Hahahaha

2007-09-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

I am so ashamed. I can't believe this is true.

2007-09-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

Nobody seems to be speaking English here today... LOL

2007-09-26T06:00:00.001-07:00

I never knew this was a major industry for us.

My god.

I must say, I'm truly shocked and very ashamed.

2007-09-24T22:32:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MID AUTUMN FESTIVAL!!!!

I came with the intention to whine. About the stress about the impending TCM exam, about betrayal of trust, about loss etc. Cos yesterday was a bad day. Then I read about the visit of the Iranian leader to Columbia university in NYC. And I realized what the heck. There are better things to blog about than whine. Better things to let my readers think about.

Like how the entire world is BRAINWASHED by American propaganda. Its AMAZING how when its anything American, it can never be propaganda. Propaganda, by American definition, is only anything that comes from its enemies.

I was reading about Ahmadinejad's visit to the university. How President Bush said it "speaks volumes about, really, the greatness of America." just cos they allowed him to go to NYC. Mind you, NYC hosts the UN. And ALL UN nation representativess are allowed to go within a 40 metre range of the UN (I think its 40 metre). That was the understanding of the US when they agreed to host the UN. So now its "great" cos they decided to honour their promise? HAHA what a joke.

I do not know about the "greatness" of America, but I do know about the ugliness displayed by one American yesterday. Bollinger, head of Columbia University. Imagine this. Ahmadinejad, alone, is visiting an entire nation filled with his enemy. He did not have to come. It would take a hell of a lot of guts to come. But come he did. Because he was invited by Bollinger to give a speech, one he believed he could use to explain himself without having his words sieved through and distorted by the American mass media. This is not to say that all his beliefs were right, but the very least Bollinger could have done was to at least be a courteous host. Yet he chose to embarrass his guest by introducing him with this sentence, "Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator." After going through all that trouble to get him here. You know what I think this is? It shows all the signs of it being a publicity stunt. For Columbia University. And for himself. Totally speaks volumes about this American. As compared to him, the greatness of Ahmadinejad is indeed apparent.

It appears that no American have gotten Ahmadinejad's message. He was called an anti-semitic and Holocaust denier. But according to his speech, he did not deny the Holocaust. Instead, he questioned the treatment of the Palestinian people by Israel, because of the Holocaust. I see no link here though. But I do not see how this is an outright denial of the Holocaust. And I do not think he is an anti-semitic as well, as there are Jews living peacefully in Iran. What I think happened is a result of TRANSLATION. Americans translate speeches whichever way it suits their interests best.
"The Iranian leader says Israel has to be wiped off the surface of the map!"
"They have a nuclear program!!! OH NO they are going to have WMDs!!!!"
"Lets pre-empt them before they attack us or attack our best buddy Israel! Its ok if we do not find WMDs later on. We'll just cook up some other stories. The American people do not like Iran. They will believe whatever we tell them!"

Which brings me to my next point. Why hasn't anyone questioned why the US can have as many nuclear weapons as they want (hell, they are the very PEOPLE who invented the nuclear bomb and first used it!) but whenever other countries want to have nuclear programs they must first be vetted by the US? Cos they are TERRORISTS!!!!! NO??? Well actually, the definition of terrorist is very subjective. As any Iraqi who the real terrorists are. No make this better. Ask those who were involved in the recent Blackwater incident.

Well anyway, the very fact that Ahmadinejad is in NYC to speak during the UN general assembly is a sign that Iran is trying to project a more mainstream image. Lets all not be affected by the American press and whatever other crap they can come up with and try to appreciate that the CHOICE of peace lies in the hands of the Americans. Almost all large scale invasions of foreign countries in recent years have been carried out by the Americans.

We shall see how the situation goes.

2007-09-23T03:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took TWO last trains home. Both the NS line and the EW line. Because someone didn't want to let me go home earlier. Someone better bring back something nice from Cambodia! (Hopefully Wii or NDS).

2007-09-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

A bit pissed off with some of my presentation grp members. How can a presenter not finish reading the journal she's going to present the day before the presentation?! Nvm... shall not take it out on the dear readers of this boring (enough) blog.

Anw, there's this Ministerial forum going to be held in NTU!!! MM Lee himself is GONNA COME! WOW! I really wanna go but no one wants to go with me =(
Its our final year leh... lets just go take a look and see how its like ok??? Hehe... go la go la!!!

Oh today daddy smsed me "Do you want a new handphone? My plan is due for renewal."
WAHAHA WANT A NEW HANDPHONE?! HELL YEA! About time baby.. my phone is TWO friggin years old! I think its the oldest phone I've owned to date.. hehe... but recently a bit no time to check out new phones.. I like this samsung super slim phone... does anyone know what model it is? Hopefully they have red or pink. Hehe.. I think they most probably do.. samsung is very lady-friendly, like all other Korean brands. Heheeeee.. does it have wifi?? I want a wifi phone!!! Can surf on the go!!! Whee!!!!

Sunday to next Friday Wj is going to Cambodia for some duno wat module he's taking. I don't get to go =( Considering the fact tt its one of the dream backpack locations I have, its a little sad... but nvm.. he will take pictures of Angkor Wat for me! Then when I eventually do backpack there I'll know what to see and what to do. Hehe..

Ok tcm final exam in TWO weeks. Damn.... gotta buck up. Thank god the 9pm show finishes today. No more distractions! hehe

2007-09-16T08:29:00.000-07:00

Met up with the year mates yesterday. Went to Xinyi's place to chit-chat. Haha.. and contrary to popular belief (actually maybe juz Wendy's belief), the 好自为之 warning was totally pointless! Hehehee.. nothing happened! Wahahaha!!!! Neh neh ni poo pooo

2007-09-14T07:24:00.000-07:00

I duno wat to make of this picture... isit juz a trick of the camera? Meaning its a wonderfully skillfully taken picture, or is it...

Anw quite a few pple wished my happy belated bday.. HAHA but im really too lazy to go look thru all the phone msges and fb posts to acknowledge them.. hehe..

k tts all for today.. cya guys again soon hopefully~~~
gonna meet up with the yrmates tmr.. hehe.. a bit afraid of wat they are gonna do to me....

2007-09-12T07:11:00.000-07:00

Today is my BIRTHDAY~~~~~~

Thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday!!!!!

( in order of timing) Kayan, Shiyan and Jing at the stroke of midnight (especially touched for Jing cos she actually backcalculated to Sg timing to wish me), Weijie soon after, Uncle Raymond soon after, Ming Keat, Weichao (who sms-ed me at 6.38am on a day when I don't have to wake up early for class!!!! Grrr.. haha), JACINTH!!!!! (SORRY i think i was half-asleep when i took ur call tts y got a memory slip), Felicia, Yanxin, Tien Fun (an sms all the way from Melbourne!!!), Shupei, Jainita, Phil, Huiyi, Peiling, Ah beng, Shiqin, Weeweecat, Shirlyn, Louise, Jorin, Xiaoyun, John, Wenhann and Brother Fox!! (hope I didnt miss anyone out)

From brother Fox.. haha!! Written on his silicon wafer!! Hehe thanks!

Look wat kinda cake my MUM bought! OMG! *GASPS* My bro couldnt believe his eyes. I mean, of cos not la... look at the difference in treatment... my parents FORGOT his 18th bday.. HAHAHAHA
*shudders* HAHA

and she made us take our cameras out to take pictures of it!!! OMG!!! Haha she claims she only bought it cos its white chocolate on the outside and milk chocolate on the inside... WAH... I can't believe it...

Ok tts all for today... gotta go do VIRO!!!! SObz!!

2007-09-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

LAMBORGHINI REVENTON!!!!

It's a LIMITED EDITION LAMBORGHINI that costs 1M EUROS!!! That is like the price of a ZONDA PAGANI! Dope!

Only 20 are made worldwide, and all 20 are sold out already! This is something that even money can't buy you... WOOHOO

Check out this baby...

For more information, visit this website!!!!

2007-09-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

Went to Shiyan's place for BBQ yesterday.. it was SO FUN! Cos it was a really... unique group. Just 4 of us, sitting outside her backyard, under a rambutan tree, with a table and a BBQ pit, some wine and coke.. and FANTASTIC food... just chatting the entire night. Thanks for having us Shiyan! Will start planning the Christmas gathering soon.... next class gathering at her place alright?? Hopefully Jing is back by then... hehe

TCM exam in less than a month... gotta work on it now... can't rely on luck all the time. Will start camping out in the diamond soon... starting tmr I guess... wait for me my study buddies... I'm back! (Though without a hall, its not gonna be easy... sigh)

2007-09-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

Classic response from Fish after knowing that I'm in a relationship:

"Fuck even u have a partner before me. That really sucks. What the fuck is wrong with me? How come got no one? This really sucks. Oh im happy for u by the way."

I have great friends. Haha

2007-09-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

HEYA ALL!

Sorry for the lack of updates.. been busy with quizzes and assignments... sigh... life sucked the past few days...

So anyway, got a breather now. Hehe.. feels good. A bit more relaxed. Tho the quiz sucked. Damn.

Anyways, to see a vid taken during tcm class, please proceed to sq's blog. I'm too lazy to upload vids yet again HAHA. Aiya same mah.. whether u see it here or at her blog... hehe

Parents went to Genting again. Left with bro and I at home. Hmm.. its time to have fun! Wahaha!!

I learned something new today. Wj's elder bro is very scary... don't think I can bully him anymore in future or his elder bro will come and get me :S

Ok tt's all for today... hehe... see when i feel like updating again! Haha

2007-08-29T07:55:00.000-07:00

Juz heard this v randomly on radio.. Haven't been listening to the radio for some time.. but suddenly decided to turn it on today.. and heard this song... hehe lurve it... now I know why my idol loves Kanye so much. He really kicks ass.

Kanye West-Stronger

2007-08-23T00:32:00.000-07:00

This shit is dope.....

DIY laser long-distance listening device

by Dan Chilton on Aug 22nd 2007 5:00PM

No DIY espionage kit is complete without a long-distance listening device, and no DIY long-distance listening device is complete unless it uses a sweet laser in some form or fashion. If you agree with that statement, then you're in luck, because the following project will show how you can use a laser pointer to hear noises from hundreds of feet away (the distance will be relative to the strength of the laser).

As with any tutorial or project that has the potential to be used illegally, we should warn you only to use this new-found knowledge for good, not bad. We won't be held responsible if you get caught eavesdropping on your crazy old neighbor, and wind up being incarcerated for the rest of your life. There's a fine line between good spying (i.e. bird watching, neighborhood watch, etc.) and bad spying (*cough* patriot act *cough*), so please err on the side of caution here.

Materials

Laser pointer
Old pair of headphones
Cadmium Sulfide Photocell (available at most Radio Shacks or electronics store)
Tripod
Binder clips or duct tape
Laptop or other recording device

Tools

Soldering iron with solder
Wire cutters / stripper

Time

Between one to two hours for construction, set-up, and alignment.

Steps

Clip the earphones off your old headphones, and strip back the protective conduit to expose three wires (red, white, and black).
There are two contacts on the photocell. Solder both the red and white wires to one contact, and the black wire to the other.
Plug the headphone jack into your laptop or other recording device.
Using binder clips or duct tape, secure the photocell to something sturdy so that it can be easily moved and aligned.
Again using your clips or tape, attach the laser to your tripod and secure the power button so the laser remains on.
Find a room with a window you'd like to spy on, and aim the laser at the window at an angle.
Determine where the laser reflects, and situate your photocell so the reflected beam hits the front of the cell.
Hit record and listen!

Any noise from inside the room will cause the window to vibrate, which will get picked up by the laser and photocell. You might have to process the raw input to remove unwanted noise and isolate the voices. Check out the cool video to see it in action.

Laser Espionage Microphone (how-to) - video powered by Metacafe

2007-08-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we wanted to go watch 881.. but tickets were sold out. So instead, we went to Ky's place to play pool, bowl, play tennis and box!

Thanks Ky, for letting us mess up your place!

For videos, please refer to Ky and Sq's blogs!

(^-^)V

2007-08-20T08:07:00.001-07:00

Why you shouldn't park here.......

Hehehehe

2007-08-19T07:28:00.001-07:00

Check this out... HAHA

Most dangerous emergency exit I've ever seen.....

2007-08-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

You know you've worked too long in a lab when.......

Just for u guys out there ;)

2007-08-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

Feeling a bit out of touch with a lot of friends in sch this sem. Maybe cos everyone's really busy with schoolwork and some with FYP on top of the regular school work. But still kinda depressing nonetheless =(

Yea a lot of readings to do.... and intensive TCM. So siannnnnnnnn!!!!! K gotta go.... bb!!!!!

2007-08-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

Weijie juz told me something his brothers said that got me thinking.. and finally understanding and accepting.

Chan's been trying to tell me the same thing many times but maybe coming from a male POV it's like taking a step out and understanding myself and what I'm doing from a different perspective.

I think for now everything's really going fine and everything's been resolved. Hehe. Thanks to friends for your concern and to wj for his patience and understanding all this while. Though ya.. the conditions abt the clothes and hair and bag still stand!!!! Hehe

Quoting something Phil once said:
Life can be simple, love can be simple. Its just how you look at it. =)

2007-08-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

School's started with one BIG bang.

Damn...

Loads of readings to do... T.T

And intensive TCM.

SIGH

Wanted to blog something funny a few times, but in the end, juz procrastinated cos these few days juz not too free. Loads of gatherings to go for.. and also gotta entertain Arisa.

Anyways.... SIMPSONS WAS SO FUNNY! Hehe.... FANTASTIC! So many nice movies recently.... too bad I ain't got time to watch... its ok. Will pick some nicer ones. The rest I'll hafta wait till the days get slacker. Like, maybe, after exams... from some VCDs maybe ;)

I just realized my blog's been really picture-deprived these few days. Hmmmm....... Maybe one day if I feel good I will upload more pictures. Hehe..

K gotta go.... hope I'll have time to update... again... SOON~~~~~

2007-08-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

Arisa's here! She's staying at my place for 3 nights.... too bad on Friday and Saturday I have classes so I won't be able to entertain her.... so my bro will have the honour. Hehe.. Tmr is NATIONAL DAY! Will be bringing her to shop and then watching the parade from the comfort of home.. hehe..

God... no time to do my readings :S

Anw... juz heard of something that got me slightly pissed off.... Weijie was telling me this guy from his batch was telling our colleague (from the same batch) bad stuff about me.... tmd.... this guy hasn't even SEEN me before, much less know me! I mean, I've got to put up with all these shit from people who don't even bother to get to know me personally since JC... just forming their own opinion based on whatever BS they've heard.. but like HELLO?!

Like I don't even KNOW this person. Don't know how he looks like, don't know his name, don't know nothing. No one who knows me personally will think that way.

In any case, like what yp will say, if thats what others think of me, there's nothing I can do wat.. i cant force them to think any other way... in any case, true friends will never be swayed by what others say. And one day, the truth will speak for itself. =)

2007-08-04T08:02:00.001-07:00

Irritating irresponsible horrible tuition kid decided to stop tuition. Cos she found me too 'demanding'. Is requesting that she bring home her textbooks and ten-year-series too demanding? How am I supposed to teach her anything without any materials?! How can she just decide to cut short the tuition timing as and when she likes, without prior notice? Its ok.. good riddance... damn... will have to rely on my parents allowance for the rest of the year until I graduate.. unless I decide to take up another assignment... which is highly unlikely due to the looming FYP.

Anyways...

Read an interesting article on BBC online that I'm sure will interest many of my friends.... hehe....

Mahjong game 'can cause epilepsy'

By Vaudine England
BBC News, Hong Kong

The study said the syndrome affects more men than women

A study by doctors in Hong Kong has concluded that epilepsy can be induced by the Chinese tile game of mahjong.

The findings, publish in the Hong Kong Medical Journal, were based on 23 cases of people who had suffered mahjong-induced seizures.

The report's four authors, from Hong Kong's Queen Mary Hospital, said the best prevention - and cure - was to avoid playing mahjong.

The study led the doctors to define Mahjong Epilepsy as a unique syndrome.

Epileptic seizures can be provoked by a wide variety of triggers, but one cause increasingly evident to researchers, is the playing - or even watching - of mahjong.

This Chinese tile game, by four players round a table, can involve gambling and quickly becomes compulsive.

Demanding

Intensely social, sometimes played in crowded mahjong parlours, the game involves the rapid movement of tiles in marathon sessions.

The doctors conclude that the syndrome affects far more men than women, of an average age of 54, and can hit sufferers anywhere between one to 11 hours into a mahjong game.

They say the attacks were not just caused by sleep deprivation or gambling stress.

Mahjong is cognitively demanding, drawing on memory, fast calculations, concentration, reasoning and sequencing.

The distinctive design of mahjong tiles, and the sound of the tiles crashing onto the table, may contribute.

The propensity of Chinese people to play mahjong also deserves further study, the doctors say.

What is certain though, is that the only sure way to avoid Mahjong Epilepsy, is to avoid mahjong, which for many people is easier said than done.

2007-08-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

Some interesting articles I read on BBC online and CNN online....

on the shamed Korean scientist who faked his results.... but now it seems he's stumbled on something far more exciting than his original fake results.

He discovered how to get stem cells from unfertilized eggs! No problem of rejection, ethics etc....

BBC online article:

Shamed scientist's 'breakthrough'

Dr Hwang went from national hero to national disgrace

A scientist who faked his research may have actually made a groundbreaking advance - without even realising it.

South Korean Woo Suk Hwang became famous after claiming to have extracted the world's first stem cells from a cloned embryo.

It emerged he had lied about his work, and the source of the cells.

But analysis in the journal Cell Stem Cell reveals he may have produced stem cells from human eggs alone - potentially even more useful.

I've always promoted the idea that efforts should be made to produce embryos from human eggs

Professor Azim Surani, Cambridge University

The Hwang episode, uncovered in 2005, is one of the most notorious scientific scandals of recent times.

His work at Seoul National University earned him the status of national hero, and even led to his face appearing on a set of commemorative stamps.

Unethical eggs

Hwang said that he had created cloned human embryos by placing the nucleus from the cell to be cloned into a "hollowed out" human egg, then managed to extract stem cells from the resulting embryos.

Scientists are excited about the potential of stem cells because they are the body's "master cells", with the potential to become any cell type in the body, perhaps replacing those lost through ageing or disease.

However, it later became clear that he had used eggs from young female researchers at his laboratory to create the embryos, itself a major ethical breach - and that the resulting stem cells did not come from cloned embryos.

With his research discredited, he was dismissed from his post at the university, and charged with fraud and embezzlement.

The latest twist came from the Harvard Stem Cell Institute in the US, who looked closely at his data, and found the cells were actually from a different type of embryo.

'Virgin birth'

Researchers said that the distinct "genetic fingerprint" of the stem cells means they may be the first in the world to be extracted from embryos produced by the so-called "virgin birth" method, or parthenogenesis.

This happens when eggs are stimulated into becoming embryos without ever being fertilised by sperm, and has been achieved in animals.

However, before Hwang, no one had managed to produce a human embryo using parthenogenesis which lived long enough to allow the extraction of viable stem cells.

Dr George Daley, who led the analysis, said: "Unfortunately at the time they published their work they did not know what they had done so they had mistakenly isolated these parthenogenic embryonic stem cells, and yet misrepresented them as true clones.

"In fact they had produced the world's first patient-specific embryonic stem cell, and that is very valuable.

"Scientists interested in modelling complex diseases would like to be able to move a patient's own cells into a petri dish in their embryonic form."

'More useful'

Professor Azim Surani, from the University of Cambridge, has carried out years of experiments to produce parthenogenetic stem cells from mice.

He said Hwang had probably inadvertently stimulated the human eggs to begin dividing while trying to produce cloned embryos.

Professor Surani said Hwang's unwitting step forward might actually prove more useful than efforts to clone human embryos, which he had claimed fraudulently.

"I've always promoted the idea that efforts should be made to produce embryos from human eggs - it is far less ethically challenging, and the efficiency of these cell lines is likely to be higher than those produced from cloned embryos," he said.

However, scientists do not know how significant the lack of contribution from the father's DNA will be.

CNN online article:

NEW YORK (AP) -- Remember the spectacular South Korean stem cell fraud of a few years ago? A new analysis says the disgraced scientist actually did reach a long-sought scientific goal. It's just not the one he claimed.

South Korean researchers fraudulently claimed they'd produced a human embryo through cloning.

The new study suggests Hwang Woo-suk and his team produced stem cells -- not through cloning as they contended -- but through a different process called parthenogenesis.

That, too, is an achievement scientists have long been pursuing.

In 2004, when Hwang and his colleagues at Seoul National University announced they had produced a human embryo through cloning and that they had recovered stem cells from it, the news made headlines around the world.

Two years later their research and a later paper were declared frauds by a committee of his university. The stem cells weren't produced by cloning, the committee said, but it was highly likely that they came about through a much different process called parthenogenesis.

In parthenogenesis, an unfertilized egg is stimulated to start dividing as if it had been joined by sperm. It develops for a while under the control of its own DNA. Some species, such as sharks, can reproduce that way. Human eggs can't develop long enough to make a baby.

In cloning, by contrast, an egg's DNA is removed and replaced with genetic material from a person. It is then stimulated as in parthenogenesis, but it develops under the control of the donor's DNA.

Scientists have long hoped to use parthenogenesis to produce stem cells. Like cloning, parthenogenesis could provide stem cells with a genetic match to a person -- in this case, the woman donating the egg. That in turn could be useful in studying the basic biology of diseases and perhaps in creating tissues for transplant treatments.

The first scientific paper to report stable populations of human stem cells obtained through parthenogenesis appeared only about a month ago.

In a paper published online Thursday in the journal Cell Stem Cell, an international team of scientists says Hwang and his colleagues actually accomplished the feat in the research behind their discredited 2004 paper.

New genetic analysis of Hwang's stem cells establishes that conclusion with "as close to certainty as you can come in biology," said an author of the new analysis, Dr. George Daley of Children's Hospital Boston and the Harvard Stem Cell Institute.

He and colleagues started by analyzing mouse stem cells generated by cloning or by parthenogenesis. They found that parthenogenesis leaves a distinctive signature in the DNA. That same signature appeared in DNA from Hwang's stem cells, they reported.

It's "unmistakable," Daley said.

Kent Vrana of Pennsylvania State University, who studies the use of parthenogenesis to produce stem cells, agreed that the new paper establishes that Hwang's line came from that process.

"While there has been some controversy about that in the field, this paper, I think, resolves that question," said Vrana, who had no role in Daley's research.

Hwang, who was fired from the Seoul university in 2006 and now heads a privately funded lab outside of town, has turned down recent interview requests.

In his 2004 paper, he and his co-authors addressed the possibility of parthenogenesis. They wrote that they couldn't completely rule it out, but they presented evidence to support their claim of cloning.

So what happened? Were they fooled? Or were they lying?

Vrana said he doesn't know. It's possible, he said, that the Korean researchers didn't realize what they'd done because they handled a lot of eggs in a technically tricky experiment.

Daley, who visited Hwang's university lab before the scandal broke, said: "We just don't know, and this is one of the curious and provocative questions that may go unanswered in the history of this debacle."

2007-08-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

check out my baby~!!!!!!!! Cute eh?!!!!!

Hehe... must be the GOOD GENES!!!!!! Coming from my family!!!!!

2007-07-31T22:24:00.000-07:00

hmm.... really procrastinating with the redang pics... haha... but meanwhile, got this very very funny clip from Fish's blog... HAHA... err.. its not exactly the most politically correct clip ever, but.... think the Malaysian Chinese will love it... hehe.... I actually don't understand the Malay parts... and I think Fish doesn't understand the Chinese parts either... hmmm weird why he loves this MV sia... HAHA

Kk anyways, enjoy!

2007-07-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

Still sorting out the Redang pics.. gimme some time alright? Haha..

2007-07-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

Off to Redang: 23rd-27th for a snorkeling trip!

Leaving 23rd night, coming back 27th early morning.

Travel buddies: Fish, Roy, Roy's friend.

Hope it will be a fruitful one.

Await more updates with pics hopefully, and a new tan after I come back!!!! Hopefully. Hehe.

Life sucks now. 3 of F4 are not in sg. Argh. Life sucks. Even wj agrees. The recently graduated wj. Haha...

Hmm... sort of thrashed things out. Feeling much better. Haha. I duno why I'm affected when everything is pretty much one-sided. I feel stupid. I was reassured, that things will go back to normal, like it was before. Glad. Will take things slow from here.

Yea now for the redang trip!!!! Almost finished packing!

2007-07-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, u dunno what u prefer. To have others say the truth in front of u, or smile at u but say bad stuff about u behind your back. I mean, when others are frank, its a little hurtful. But at least u know they don't say bad things behind your back, and u can reflect about what they say and change.

Today, my colleagues chatted with me. We had dinner together, cos I was leaving. They treated me. I loved them. They are all really nice and fun-loving people. And I loved my mentor too. But they had me know today that if I really wanted to work in research in future, I really need to brush up my lab techniques. Though my theory was good. They were frank. My mentor became more busy lately because I was always screwing up some thing or other when she wasn't looking, so she had to keep an eye on me all the time. Although she was too kind to let me know.

My excuses:
This isn't really my field of interest.
I had to keep trying new experiments and had no one to guide me.
I was never taught what to look out for.

In the end, it all boils down to this: Me not putting my heart into this research. When it takes a month to grow stable cell lines, and when u realize at 3 weeks your cells got contaminated, u gotta start everything again. And the next time u try, after 3 weeks, u realize your cells are not dying or are looking really weird, and u gotta start it again. By the 4th time, you just feel too dejected to put your heart into this and treat it seriously anymore.

Or it takes u a week to culture cells and transfect, and then harvest and another week to run a western blot and another for a northern blot. And in the end, if the results were horrible, u will have to repeat everything until u get the desired results. I know it is wrong to juz reject something because u fail too many times, but its really getting to me.

Pretty down lately. I really know it's my own fault. I know I have to make it right. I've already written a summary of what I've done so far for my mentor so she won't have a hard time. Tomorrow I will scan all my results and let her know the progress of all my experiments. So she knows where she can pick up. I feel kinda bad. I'm a messy experiment-or. Its the first time anyone has said my lab book was messy. Probably because its the first time I got too lazy to keep tabs about the stuff I've done. Maybe because subconsciously I was never taking this seriously cos it wasn't really my interest.

I really feel so bad.

Played too much in lab.

Think I'll offer to go back on wkends etc to see if I can do anything to clear up the mess I've left behind.